I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
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Parting words:
Me: Hey, have a good Summer.
Freshman girl: Don't "hey" me. I'm mad at you.
Me: How come?
Freshman girl: You said that I wasn't an individual.
Me: Well, you were listening to the same two 50 Cent songs and complaining about not being allowed to smoke a "fat one." Take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Besides, you took a pretty cheap shot at me...For the record, the Romans killed Christ.
"One second, I had 650 songs loaded on my iPod, but in the next second, I only had 20. The moral of the story: The Apple is always tempting, but it's not user friendly."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
Mandatory shop class:
"I think I got a metal splinter in my hand from a lathe shaving. Oh, it's just a burn? That's a relief."
"No, I've never used a miller before, nor have I drank one."
"I'm great with Legos, but other than that, I'm not really the hands-on type. O.C.D. and mechanic's grease don't mix."
Mom: We bought six bottles of stool softener. I get three of them.
Me: I wanted nine bottles, but you told me to put three back because it was rude to clean out the store. The three I put back just happened to be your three.
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"Hey, is this tech support? Remember, I called before about trying to install the additional hard drive? No, nobody gave me a case number. The woman I was talking to put me on hold, and then my phone died. You're sure you're not the person I talked to before? They must have a lot of Indian ladies working there."
At my job interview:
President of Company: What do you like to do in your free time?
Me: I'd say my first interest is writing.
President of Company: Now that's interesting. What do you write?
Me: Don't say lemons. Don't say lemons.
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
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"No, you never gave me a company manual, nor did you give me a drug test. If you have a cup, I'll be happy to give you one now."
"The big two-two, yeah right. Let's see...next big one...three more years, and I get to run for congress."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"The tiny hole in the casting created an oil stream so powerful that my galvanized washer cracked, but at least I didn't bust my nut."
Me: Is that a gun?!
Dad: It's a bb gun; I'm going to use it on the chipmunks that have been wrecking our garden.
Me: Well, I'm morally opposed to owning anything close to a real gun. I think you should immobilize them with a high power squirt gun, and then stab them to death.
Dad: That sounds a lot more cruel.
Me: Yeah, maybe you're right.