I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
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My 100th post in this thread, and 750th overall:
"Rage is my anti-drug."
"People wonder why I mumble so much. When they say, "What you say? What you say? What you say? What?" I say, "Nevermind," because I just insulted them."
"My normal facial expression is pretty stern and sad. People wonder why I look so serious, but it's just my normal look. When I smile, it lights up a room a little too much. People wonder why I'm so damn happy. It's not fair that I can't win, even if I am laughing at them."
"You ever wonder why Friendly's doesn't have too many Asian waitresses? If you asked for a Happy Ending Sundae, you might get something illegal, depending on the tip."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"I wish they'd stop calling them the "dream" team. They suck. Yep, the dream team is all wet."
"If you're essentially an invisible eavesdropper, and not really a part of a conversation with people you don't exactly know, you can learn a lot about human nature. Lately, I've learned about the mindsets of young white men, young black men, young white women, middle-aged Hispanic women, old country hicks, middle-aged hicks, and a few others. The more you really get to understand them, the more you want to kick 'em all in the stomach, or the face if you can kick that high (I can)."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"I don't know who's dumber, the girls who climb over a security fence to go into the woods to look for salamanders, or the boys who follow them thinking that "salamanders" must be some sort of code word for makeout session. Screw you guys, I'm going to go eat dinner. I hope you all get Lyme disease."
"It seems a little hypocritical for No Doubt to be on "Rock Against Bush Volume 2" when Gwen Stefani is married to Gavin Rossdale."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"I don't do "fun runs". There's no such thing. I only run when I have to get somewhere and get there fast. The only thing that can make running fun is knocking people over. One of my life ambitions is to clothesline an oncoming skater/blader. I just need an occasion where there are no witnesses."
"I think that girls find me attractive, but how come they always expect me to say something to them (when I can't)? How come the only active pursuers have been a 200+ pounder who thought I was looking at her when I couldn't avoid it, and a hick with a lazy eye who wanted to show me her standard transmission?"
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"Police should use bullets made out of really old fruit cake. They'd be just as disabling, but they'd dissolve in the body, eventually."
"I don't take the fact that it's 9/11 too seriously, but I'll use it as an excuse to be as solemn and depressing as I can during the course of the day, to bring everybody down, and to prove my talent as an actor."