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"The difference between a corporate whore and a regular whore is that when a corporate whore realizes he or she is a whore, it makes him or her less of a whore."
"Lady, the bags are transparent. It won't matter if I give you two or ten, your husband will still see what's inside them before Christmas. I certainly don't give a shit if his surprise is spoiled, and neither should you."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
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""With The Lights Out", the Nirvana boxed set, is essentially the Nirvana version of the "Beatles' Anthology", and more ammo for the Kurt Cobain and John Lennon analogy. Personally, I don't think that either one of them needed more ammo."
Freshman girl *knocks at my door and I open it*: Why are you wearing shades?
Me: So I don't hurt my eyes in front of the computer screen.
Freshman girl: Were you looking at porn?
Me: If I were looking at porn, would I have my pants on right now?
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
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"So you just want to be friends? Alright, then right now, as my friend, I expect you to offer me some pity."
Me: Hey, remember when I caught you spitting up into the toilet after smoking a cigar.
Freshman: Please don't bring up that story.
Freshman's roommate: Uh, that wasn't a cigar.
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"Wow, that exam didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. I'm usually the last one to finish, but this time I'm one of the first. That's really good, considering that I didn't study as much as I would've liked, and I've had trouble with this course the whole semester...I think I just did something horribly wrong. The worst part is: I have no idea what it is."
I went to Target with my little brother, and I was considering getting the new Digimon card game, but I wanted to make sure that he'd play it with me. I used every argument I had, but he completely refused, and I didn't buy it. Later that night, he wanted me to play his Jeopardy game with him:
"It's just like I told you in the store, if you won't play my game, I'm through playing yours."
I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.
"Why do iPods have to be registered at Apple's website? It seems like a conspiracy. The government might monitor people through their iPods. It's like the Patriot Act, but less overt."
"How many passive-aggressive bullets do I have to shoot this kid with before he'll quit smoking?"