I'm so depressed.I don't know what to do anymore. It all feels so worthless, my talents and abilities, my intelligence and my so called "beauty".I'm so tired of everything, of love and I dont know if I can be a whole person again. I just want to die. My life feels so meaningless.Everytime I think I'm getting better I get worse and I don't know what to do.I feel so empty inside and like nothing I do matters.I'm tired of crying and hurting on the inside all of the time.I just want to give up, I'm so tired and I don't want to cry anymore. I am the Dreamer Girl with the broken heart, the one who can never be fixed.<sigh> i should just die. theres no point anymore.my heart, is too battered and my soul is weary. My writings dont matter anymore.My poetry is all the same and my stories are nothing. I can't decide what to do anymore and I'm just a tired person with no hope anymore.Only Lonely Gabu was the one keeping me alive a week and a half ago and he was the reason I was living, i was gonna committ suicide and i was having a panic attack about 4 days ago.He calmed me down but im still.... alone inside. I just wanna die.

Well, you don't get to join a union if you work in retail, nor do you get to support a family. In some ways, your dad is right. Consider that if you went into the marines, it would be even hotter and itchier.

In Digimon Savers, Touma, 14 years old, driving a car carrying the Digiegg.

In Japan, 14 years old can drive car?

In my country, only 18 years and above can drive.

What does lolita means? My country never said lolita before. Is it only used in Japan?

hey guys.Its just i wanted to talk so much about my favorite comic book ever.It's Elfquest!!! I stumbled across these comics that belonged to my mom since the 1970's.Its still a popular comic and I'm in love with it!!!It's so awesome!!Here are some pics of the character for you guys. Lol!!

How do you keep going when nothing seems to go for you? When I graduated high school in 2005, I was on top of the world. I had a girlfriend who loved me, a future in the marines to be proud of. Then the marines turn me down, my girlfriend dumps me, I find out that I'm permanently disqualified from joining the service, and my first three jobs don't work out and now my fourth one isn't working out. I know I still have things to be thankful for and I'm trying to stay optimistic about my future, but after having everything going right and then suddenly go wrong, how can I be confident anymore?

I mean, yeah I have a home, a family, food, clothing and all that. But how can I be sure those won't suddenly go away? And if they do, what then?

Okay.. im pretty pissed off here.

Im 19, a few months from 20, i work crappy hours, get paid crappy wages...

a week ago, me and my sister went to play bingo. I won $350 (but she said i had to split it with her) so with my $175 i paid a few bills and put a ps2 on lay away. On thursday, my mom and the rest the family went camping. i HATE camping and i said i was gonna stay home. Then i got paid fri, so i asked my mom if i could borrow the last $60 for my ps2 so i could have something to do. so she did that.

Friday my sister came over, she lives 3 hours away. she came to see me and got the money i owed my mom. my check was very small btw, bought a memory card and two fast food meals and im already almost broke.

so my mom calls me today... aperently the money i gave to my sister, my mom told her to keep for gas. howver, my mom found out she was -$400 in the bank, and that her and her husband fought about giving my sister money. so, my mom told him she did not giver her money, and my step dad mentioned that i still owe her $60.

i have $30 left

SO...

my mom calls me and tells me to give him the $30 and tell him i left the money at my gramparents.

WHAT?

So after SHE messes up i have to give her all my money and look like an ass to my step dad for not having it all???? not to mention lie, which i REALLY dont want to to. i argued and fought over the phone. but it looks like i have to choose a side and know the other side will hate me.

And i told her i dident feel comfortable doing it and she says: "Its not about your comfort right now its about mine!"

Im sick and tired of beeing shit on by everyone!

Do you hate it when people talk politics in the work place or at school? In my opinion, politics are for the voting booth during election season. Talking about them anywhere else just leads to fights and broken friendships.

I don't know if I will, but I might leave for good. Things are going terrible for me here, and I have choices. But I'm not leaving the RPs hangin'.

Two options out of several that I have:

1) Turn myself in for life, and join the cell dogs program. Rebbie can do without me, and Velmont can take care of my dogs.

2) Community service for life.

I'm sorry, but here I am, ranting again, I'm sorry if I nag and complain a lot about my life, but I really can't help this one...

Last Saturday, Blitz disappeared without a trace, all we know is that he gave Velmont a notepad, that's all.

Last Sunday, Raymond and Ryan went away, I don't know where- but I'm sure they'll be back eventually. I start grieving about Munkee leaving, knowing that I could've told her more if I wasn't so busy trying to stop Mr. Epsilon from fighting Ms. Zephyr and Vice versa, so I lock myself in my room.

Last Monday, I can't take it anymore, I needed to talk to someone, but Blitz, Blue and Ryan weren't home yet- so did something stupid- I went to Velmont, he was reading one of his Gear mags, when I told him I was misreable. He told me to hold on, and took out a notepad.
"-Let's see... Depressed, misreable, missing someone- Ah- Why? What's the matter?" He said, skimming the notepad. I figure Blitz gave it to him for such an occasion.
"I miss munkee-" I replied.
He skims it again. "Someone dies- someone hates you- someone leaves- There- Gunter, friends come and go. It's whether they come back that matters." He replies.
"-But what if she never comes back!?" I say.
"Tough luck." He throws the notebook away.

Somewhere during the conversation, I told him I appreciate that he's at least trying to help me, and we talk about relationships. I happened to joke about being in love with a dog, when he excuses himself, and returns. He asked me again, and I told him I was madly in love with Balto, from the movie (which is true, I'm swooning)- when he suddenly knocked me to the ground, and started putting this straitjacket on me- He yells stuff at me in Romanian, then in english.

I begged him to let me go- but he put me in the lower room, and chained it to the wall.

I fucking stayed their for three days- I missed three days of work- and I missed the DaD- I yelled, and cried, but he didn't care- I wanted to just die- but NO.

Last Wednesday, my boss traveled four hours just to check on me- bless her, if she hadn't come, he wouldn't have let me down. I discovered that...

He had gotten to my PC. He ruined it- destroyed everything- my modem- and all my files- gone- I hated him- it took me three whole fucking months to save 1.48GB worth of porn and music!
I'm forced to use a pc in town, where they're so damn slow, and people stare at you- and I can't do more than 1-2 hours- because if I get home late to make dinner, he beats me up.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when he does that- but too much pleasure is still pain.

He's taken to hurting me on a daily basis, my stomach hurts a lot, he keeps punching me there- I'm covered in bruises, and I don't even bother counting the sprains he gave me-

If I really do deserve all that, do I not deserve to die? Why let me live through this hell?

I love my brother. He's family to me. No matter how he hurts me. But why does he hurt me? Why does he hate me? What did I do to him?

I only just got released, I can't type that fast, and I refuse to eat.
I'm trying to kill myself, and I tried to when he bound me again- this time because he found out I had feelings for my dog.
I refused to eat the food he gave me, and I coulnd't do any more-

I tried holding my breath to suffocate myself- but I can't do it- not even past three minutes!

I'd rather die than live like this again- he threatened to leave too- I don't want him to leave- if he leaves, I'm all alone again... well... at least I'll have my dogs, and my boss.

Speaking about my boss, she calls me Vicky now, is that could or bad?

Why doesn't Velmont just send me to hell? It's starting to sound nice to me.

I'm so confused, I can't type right, I can't work right, and I cant think right. Advice would be much appreciated.

And thank you all so very much for putting up with me, really...

Sorry for my poor English.

I hate alarms sometimes. I meant to do this update at 5am PST today but it didn't go off. Oh well, better late then never! Just follow this link and read the page. The link to the room is at the bottom.

Copied from main site. What does this mean? When will be the next update? Because I submitted lemons. :oops:

Thanks.