Hey everyone....here's why I'm never on..this applies to some people on here...

Fucking depression is taking over again.I am such a failure at life... I haven't been happy in the longest time, despite the way I always act. I mean, I was happy when I was with Collin, but I guess that was a waste of time. I ended up getting hurt. I think it's safe to say that I'm not in love with him anymore..I just kinda like him. Though he's always been there for me, I think his life would be so much better without me there. Anyway..everyday I dread seeing everyone because it makes me even more depressed than usual. I put on an act to hide my true self: lonely...sad...depressed...hated. I smile to hide my tears and each day, it gets harder and harder to fake that smile. Life is just so hard. I will admit that I cry myself to sleep every night because I am so unhappy. My mom is another reason. She is the worst mother in the world and she doesn't realize how bad of an influence she is on me. I don't want to get into it...so whatever. My grades are going down because I can't deal with all of this anymore...my grades are fucking dropping because of it.. I think I was better of being abused by my step-mom than ever moving here. I can't take it anymore.....and I think the best way to end it is to have Collin kill me. Just take a shotgun to my head and kill me. I would rather have him do it because he won't have any regrets doing it and I want him to do it because I know that killing me would make him happy...So for all those that 'care about me'...thanks for 'caring about me' It was nice while it lasted....And no...I'm not suicidal...I'm just really depressed and I want nothing more than for Collin to be happy....That's all I want...he would be happier if I were dead....

So...whatever...

MY PARENTS AREN'T JUST SATASFIED WITH TRYING TO KICK ME OFF THE INTERNET AT 1AM, NO!!! NOW THEY HAVE TO GO PUT A TIME LIMIT ON MY FUCKING ACCOUNT!!! SOMEONE PLEASE LEND ME SOMETHING SHARP CAUSE I'M FEELING HOMOCIDAL RIGHT NOW!!!

If I get into firefighting, which pays 30 thousand a year give or take, and stay in until I'm in my fifties, I should have close to a half a million dollars when I retire from it, plus I've started a 401k program at my current place of employment.


Does that sound like enough to retire on, because that's going to decide whether or not I go ahead with my gunsmithing career. Not that I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'm really looking forward to retirement.

to a funeral.

I've never met the girl, and I don't even know what she looks like.

Here's the story: This poor girl gets in a car wreck. She is in the hospital, and dies a week later, while in a coma.

The entire senior class knew her, but seeing as how I graduated last year, I didn't.

My best friend is going to the funeral, as will the whole senior class.

Here's the deal, i'm leaving for it in a few minutes, and I can't tie a damn tie. So i'm just going to where a golf shirt and shorts. Since 1/4 of the highschool is going, i'm sure I won't be the only one who isn't dressed properly.

I am going to pay my respects to a person I never knew, until she was in a coma. I heard so much about her, and I prayed (to what I don't know) that she would recover.

What is your oppinion of me going? I'm like a stranger, but I am going anyway, in a few minutes. I just wanted some oppinions about my actions, because I feel out of place, but I also feel obligated to pay my respects.

P.S. I am going, so when you respond to this, talk as if I had already gotten back. I won't be back on the forums until later anyway.

Okay this past weekend I had gone with the debate team to a tournament in Alabama. This was my first time doing Public Forum and second debate( the last one was 3 years ago). My partner and I ended up coming in 2nd for the novice Public Forum. The reason though according to one judge was that my partner was too assertive and should not have interrupted his opponent during cross examination. Yet he said that he liked that I was the most mature and treated it like a discussion, but I could be more assertive. The second judge said we didn't explain something which we had twice, while the opponets were unable to explain some questions my parnter asked. The third judge though really had nothing to say to us. Then we had to stay behind for 5 hours for the awards and then the coach got lost for another 3 hours getting home so I didn't get home until 3am last night which just made me even more pissed off.

The thing I noticed though was that the two judges that voted against us had already judged the other team and the judge that voted for us had judged us before. They also gave me more speaker points than my partner, while in all the other matches my partner was beating varsity debaters and got the 5th place speaker award.
Something about this just doesn't seem right about this. Now I would have no problem with the results if I had gotten the least amount of points for I thought i was the weakest link.

Oh well it feels a bit better writing what I think about the outcome of the match.

I'm going to turn my Destruction story series into a video game and I'd need all the help I could get, including sprite makers/editers, artists, composers, etc.. Anyone is welcome to help. I'm writing this at work, so the details suck a bit at the moment. I'll post better info later when I get back home.

Destruction - The game

Genre: Ultra violentic sexual disgusting post apolocalyptic action adventure involving hybrids (Digimon)

Base setting: In the year 20XX humanity rejoiced as it was able to create a first bio organic robot. They were able to have emotions, live longer, create offspring, and evolve within years. They were labeled as Digimon and the progress of the evolution was refered as "Digivolution." For some time things went well with Digimon helping humans with tasks that required extra strength or just general added toughness. Soon humans replaced their soldiers with Digimon armies. But when humans stopped animal tests and began tests with Digimon, it was the final straw. A group of Digimon killed every one in a single city, declaring it an independent country for all Digimon and alike. There came a war between the two races that saw both sides gaining advantages and disadvantages. As their final resort humans used all their nuclear weaponry and focusing it into the area with the most Digimon. The Digimon' way of response depends on who tells the tale. Some speak of a missile, some say an energy attack. Some even speak of seeing a Digimon figure fly. But the outcome is still the same. Digimon infected the sun with something that altered its structure completely. The sun became red and began to give out strong ammounts of radiation. Humans were forced to hide to underground shelters and vaults to protect themselvs whereares Digimon had built systems and protections for their largest cities which were joined together later. As the time passed, humans due to their way of living were slowly reduced lower and lower untill they reached a primitive level, cannibalism.

Game's plot: The game begins somewhat after the cities had been connected. Giantic fans are on non stop to clear the contamined air. Digimon are having harder and harder time surviving, many are starving or dying from illness. The sun causes some Digimons to even miss their evolution compeltely, thus leaving them even more fragile and weak. Humans are somehow immune to the radiation and roam the ravaged wastelands like undead, feasting on the flesh of all those who dare go outside the shelter. Digimons send troops ever now and then to kill humans who get too close to their city. The game begins with Major Veedramon going for such a mission and to kill a human too close to the base. After completing the mission he returns home to once again help his older brother who's paralyzed completely and can only move his right eye and left arm. He gets called to help a repairman who's going to go fix one of the main fans which is malfunctioning. She meets up with the repairman, Gatomon whom after the duty begins to help Veedramon take care of the sick brother. And that's when the bad things begin to happen...

SEVERAL NOTEWORTHY CHARACTERS:

Veedramon: The main hero of the story. Drinks, smokes, and is bored with his life. Does not care of anything except feels like he owes his entire life for his older brother and tries to help him as much as he can.

Gatomon: A mechanic whom feels sorry for Veedramon and decides to go help him take care of the brother. The two begin a relationship soon after.

Redmon: The big brother of Veedramon. Got affected by the sun so badly he lost his ability to move.

Patamon: The ex boyfriend of Gatomon. Went off to milliatry training. Hates nowadays Gatomon because she did not wait for him to come back and instead chose a new lover. (Actually, quite several) Unable to evolve but Veedramon starts to think that maybe by studying the rookie they could learn how to undo the effects of the sun.

Planned features:

* A plot filled with tons of unexpected plot twists, high flying drama, and unique character developement.

* (maybe) Drawn out CG art, like in Adventures of MISTER BIG T 4.

* The story would focus around Veedramon, Patamon, Gatomon based on the happenings of the story at the time. Like, sustain torture by repeatedly pushing a button, etc...

Happy Birthday Dragonknight Kyo! (9th November)

http://tubesdance.ytmnd.com/


Senator Ted Stevens speech on how the internet works.

I've been VEEEERRRYYY Busy lately- that and my browser wouldn't let me open it- and the brief period when my account wouldn't accept my password- (Thank you Mr. Wolfey for fixing that! I'm never changing my PW again! lol)
I hope I wasn't holding anyone back at the RPs- peace away!

I missed you guys!!

Last time, 5c' were: credit card, cash, condominum, children and cars.

Now, 5c's are: credit card, cash, condominum, children, cars and cock.

Joke from a friend. :oops: