HEY SHADOW, most of those " Blonde Inventions" are not blonde at all....They are polish ones that someone changed to blonde....Believe you me I know a bunch of polisg jokes cause kids and teachers used to get me with them by the paper fulls :P
ok im not reading threw 33 pages of jokes so sorry if this jokes been said before... its a pritty good animal/blond joke.
Q. how can you tell if a coyote is blond?
A. if i gets its leg cought ina trap, chews 3 leggs off, and is still traped
i just cracked up at that one... i dont realy know many jokes... i mostly just make fun of stupid things people do/say
nah, that one hasnt been said yet, but its pretty funny!
poor, poor, stupid coyote.
WOO!! Coyotes are canids!! Dogs are Canids!! You said Coyote!
I guess that does it for you Gun, you reminf me of the moment in the Lion King the hyena that used to laugh to Mufasa
Er... how do I remind you of that moment?
I really don't know it was pretty damn obscure and it hit me......It is really just that weird.....
Been awhile. But the joke post shall never die so long as their's funny stuff on the internet!
The difference between cats and dogs:
Dog's diary:
7 A.M. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 A.M. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 A.M. Oh, boy! Kids! My favorite!
10 A.M. Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
Noon Oh, boy! A nap! My favorite!
2 P.M. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 P.M. Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 P.M. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 P.M. Oh, boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 P.M. Oh, boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 P.M. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 P.M. Oh, boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 P.M. Oh, boy! Sleeping on my people's bed! My favorite!
Cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape & the mild satisfaction of clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another house plant.
Today, my attempt to kill them by weaving around their feet almost
succeeded...Tomorrow I must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to do this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to show them what I am capable of, and to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, that did not work according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed insolitary during the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my ability to produce "allergies". Must learn more about this.
I am convinced my other captives are flunkies and possibly spies. The dog is routinely released and seems happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports on my every move. Due to his placement in a metal room, he is safe from me for now. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time..
And blonde jokes.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
****
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
A woman goes to doctor for her usual check up. After doing the routine, he smiles and says "Gongratulations, you're pregnant."
The woman falls silent. "No, that can't be. Me and my husband have had only anal sex for almost year and half, just to avoid that."
The doctor looks deep back into her eyes "Madam, don't you know where politicans come from?"
Nice one about the cat and dog, made me laugh......