Seriously. I've told multiple people to kill me now. I've told my co-workers while I was on break that I was only three days in, and I wanted to kill myself.

You've seen me vent about many things, but this is a whole new one. This also serves as a mini reminder for me, due to the large amount of money I owe people.

Yes, lets start with the root of all this evil. Money. I currently owe:

$40 - My Brother
$1000 - Green Mountain Energy Company
$300 - Landlord
$250 - Kyuubi no Kitsune from here.
$100 - in brake parts for the van, from one of my neighbors.

-and-

I had to ask not only Rax/Altima/Dan/etc., one of my good friends from here, for money so that I could afford to eat this week, but I also had to ask my mom for $20 and to buy the uniform clothes I need for my job.

This is why I want you to kill me.

That holier-than-thou bitch has forever been on my ass. If she wasn't beating it, she was yelling at me how I'm ruining my life. Asking to borrow money from her is the icing on the cake. From here on out, she can use that for fuel when bitching about MY life. I'd rather drink drain cleaner than deal with that shit.

***

Next up, the job.

Ahh, yes. Wal-Mart. Truly the root of all evil. With low prices and mindless zombies working there. Truly is a magical place. Not.

Those goddamn CBLs(Computer Based Learning modules). And those chairs. The CBLs I can handle. The chairs I can't. You sit there for hours on end, and your ass and the back of your legs end up feeling like they're on fire. Can they at least take some cushions from Home Furnishings? Seriously?! My ass feels like someone fucked it with a forklift.

And why do I have to train on a goddamn register?! I'm a stocker. I get paid to put cans on shelves, not check people out! And why do I have to train during the day?! I'm slated for overnight shift. Seriously. 10pm-7am. I have to go in tuesday at 9am and get out at 6pm. Totally and completely fucked with my sleep schedule. And they only gave me one day off between training and floor work so that I can shift my sleep schedule back to where its supposed to be!

***

My boots.

Standing for eight hours in steel-toed boots is one thing. But, no. I'm poor. It has to be something else.

I don't have socks, or insoles for those things. So standing behind the register today felt like someone hammering railroad spikes into my feet.

And I think I might be getting trenchfoot. My feet smell like ass, and there's a sore on top of one of them that itches and hurts at the same time.

***

Home.

Goddamn light company. How I hate them so. They are truly villians of the darkest caliber. The light bill went from $352(WHICH WAS PAID) to $700, to $1000, all with statements saying we didn't pay the bill before it. My dad has the bank statement FOR MY BANK ACCOUNT that shows a $352 check to Green Mtn. Energy going through. And they have no record of it. And I'm stuck in the dark. At least I'm at work during the heat of the day, and get to sleep during the cool of the night, but that changes next saturday, when I start night shift.

And the fleas. God. Damn. Where are these little shits coming from?! They just fucking appeared out of nowhere, and they're biting my ass like it's a fucking cake or something.

And that goddamn kitten. My dad got a kitten that we named Chairman Meow. That little fucker threw up on me yesterday, right before I was supposed to go to work. And then I spilled coffee on the other side on accident, so it looked like I was lactating brown through my shirt. And my nametag could only cover one stain.

***

The slumlord.

Seriously. This asshole all of a sudden wants to play landlord. He rented out the place next door, and went all Nazi on my ass because I have my car parked in the neighbor's garage.

ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK WITH ME, SHITHEAD?!

He wants a 3,800 pound car that does not run moved yesterday, while I have an actual job to go to. If that asshole wants to play landlord, than I'll play disgruntled tenant. He needs to bring the wiring up to code, the plumbing up to code, exterminate the termites, fix the busted windows, fix the stairs that bounce when you step on them, insulate the building, and shore up several critical structural weaknesses. Then I'll move my car.

Seriously. The shit dropping down from the rafters is chipping my paint, and lowering my cars value.

Then he goes Captain Butthurt because my dad got a new car(the Monte Carlo on my FA). There is no stipulation anywhere in the housing lease that says we can only have so many cars. Seriously. His bitching is getting to be annoying.

Then there's the dogs he's bitching about. We rented this shithole under the understanding that pets were allowed. I have ONE(1) German Shepherd, ONE(1) large breed mutt, and ONE(1) kitten. Unless you happen to count the vermin infestation as pets.

Those damn dogs just won't shut the fuck up. Every night about 2am, they start barking, and wake my ass up. I yell at them and threaten to kill them, and they shut up. I go back to sleep, but that totally fucks up my night, and I wake up groggy and unresponsive.



So, in short, put a bullet in my brain, I beg of you, before I start dumping bodies in the Brazos river.

Ever had one of those amazing showers where you just get all content and happy and warm and fuzzly and... okay that's getting out of hand. Anyways, so I just came out all warm with my towel on, then my mom tells me one of my cats probably won't live through next month! I'm just thinking why the fuck couldn't she tell me this when I wasn't content and happy!? It's like once in a year I'm actually happy! Goddammit and now my cat's going to die! What the hell is with my luck, I mean why can't I just have a nice day once in a while like everyone else!? Now I'm just wet and mad, like Britney Spears after one of her shows.

As the title says, I'm going to be away for the weekend on a Cruise!

My ship is the "Carnival Paradise"

This is my very first vacation on a cruise ship so I plan to do a lot on there. :P

I don't think I will be able to keep in touch since I won't be near a computer or anything else. I will have my phone though, so whoevers number I have, I could text to!

If you really want to text me, just PM me or something. I don't mind. :]

So tomorrow, Friday, at 1pm, I'm off to board my ship.

I'll be sure to get pictures with phone since that's my best bet to get some.

Take care and I will see you all Monday afternoonish or so. ^^

OH MY GOSH I'M SO HAPPPPPPPPPPY! I FINALLY MADE IT TO THE EPIC 666!
Okay, now I will grant one poster one wish, post your wishes here! You can wish for anything but if it's something I probably wouldn't agree to, I'll just choose someone else's wish.

Would you willing to be in the dark for just One hour?

I began turning my room lights off for whole day since the announcement about Earth Hour thingy broadcast in my local radio station.

With a light source come from my LCD monitor, I'm still able to type and post reply in DaD as well as tech forums, watching movies, fapping (oops hehe). I will turn it on when I want to eat.

So, how about you? Can't survive without lights at night?

www.earthhour.org

Yeah, they just cut our power again. I'm running on battery right now, but I doubt that'll last through the afternoon. Unless I find someone I can borrow a generator from, or get enough things together to sell to pay the light bill(both highly doubtful), I'm gonna be gone for a while.

I go in for my piss test in the next hour for my job. If all goes well(it should), I should be working by week's end. Meaning I should have enough capital built back up to pay at least some of the light bill next month, just enough to get them to cut the lights back on.

So, this means that my RPs will be on temporary hiatus, due to inability to post. Just play around me. In the case of my Digimon Marshalls RP, if you would be so kind as to wait for my return, we can play when I get back. The other moderators in my areas, please take note and handle anything that comes up. Y'all know the drill.

So, to recap, Centerpoint Energy is evil, and I'm a piss-broke wolf. Hopefully I'll see y'all sometime next month.

Peace.

Cowboy From Hell.
-000-

Was -666-, but I can't afford it anymore.

Hiya everybody. You already know I suck at expressing myself directly so I won't paint anything pink and will just say what I have to.

During the course of the last two weeks you might have noticed that my responses started to go from slow to dull to near void of any sort of feeling. I'm about to restart college. Talks with my parents have made me realize a few number of things which I still have to convince myself about if I want to move forward. It has been a year and a half since I haven't been able to just be happy and smile honestly, and I want that to change. My friend's gone, my best and only friend in real life is gone to another city because he needs to catch up with his studies so I'll scarcely be able to see him anymore, and all my high-school classmates are distributed along the country, we hardly contact each other and the ones I have easy contact with I barely speak to. The lowdown about this is that I'm highly depressed and in anguish, I can't knock it off no matter what I do, and the only thing my parents have encouraged me to do is to make new friends, out of the computer.

I'm sorry if what I wrote above sounded like I was targetting anybody here, the truth is that I'm not, because I don't have a better place to escape from depression than here, where I have more than enough friends to have fun with.

This announcement is just to inform people that I'll cut my net hours to very low (Compared to the standard) ones. I'm going to start gym each Monday, Wednesday and Friday to see if I can get a bit healthier physically and maybe meet more people that way, and also, the rest of my free time will be occupied with 2-3 hours of daily study. College, house-keeping and sleep will take the rest, so anything I can fit in after that will be spent in the computer with my internet in my apartment in Mar del Plata.

In short, I'll be here around 1/2-2 hours daily from now on, I'm in emotional pain while I write this (aside from the depression and anguish) because there is a very harsh truth which I can't bring myself to accept, and that's that everyone in my MSN list and the people here are my life, and I'm spoiled enough not to want it to change one bit. But I have to, or this anguish will never leave, I want to be honestly happy, to not have to fake happiness anymore and say I'm fine while I can hardly breathe correctly.

I don't know if I'll be able to do this, I love playing games, writing and just chatting and RPing, I don't care about anything else, but my body and mind are no monotone machines which can repeat their cycles for the rest of eternity, I need to change, even if it scares me. I don't want to lose anyone or reach any point where I'll say I'll just dump internet, the thought alone makes my heart ache strongly but I realize if I want anything done it'll have to be by my hand alone...

I leave now for Mar del Plata, don't know when my internet will be stable, but I really hope everything will be okay for me in the future and I'll try not to ever leave this place. Thanks for reading guys, love you all.

Chris Cornell put out a new album, “Scream.” I would normally go through the trouble of rating and reviewing each song individually, but this album isn’t worth it. Besides, there are no silences between songs, i.e. the album is meant to be one continuous play, so I think it’s fair to lump the whole album together.

I had a feeling it would be “different” when I saw the producer credits, but I was hoping for the best. Chris Cornell gets props for being experimental with this album, unlike “Carry On,” but this is just ridiculous. At least “Carry On” was a rock album with some decent songs on it, bland overall though it was. For rock fans, this album has no redeeming value except for its novelty among Chris’s body of work, a few good lyrics, very appropriate cover photographs, and the hidden track, “Two Drink Minimum.” For fans of electronic pop stuff, maybe it’s good, but I wouldn’t know. I will admit that some of the songs are catchy in places, so if you’re a pop fan, this album could appeal to you.

As a huge Soundgarden fan, a lesser fan of Temple of the Dog, Audioslave, and Chris’s other solo work, this is a huge disappointment. I really hope Chris goes back to basics, maybe experimenting a little, but not this much, if he’s going to put out more albums. Obviously, this is the twilight of his career, but I think he still has the ability to write good songs.

I've spent a lot of years dealing with stress. Cold, manipulative mothers, distant fathers, ignorant brothers and down right stupid friends. But, through all that, I haven't felt like this before.

I'm stressing out bigtime. I just got a job interview done at Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits for a cashier position, and I have an interview at 7:45 at Wal-Mart for a Night CS Rep(restocking returned merchandise). From what I heard, Wal-Mart is a double-edged sword. They're slave-drivers(so I heard), but they have excellent benefits.

I honestly don't know what to do. I haven't slept all night from the nervousness, my stomach is killing me, I haven't had an urge to smoke all day, I'm hot, I'm cold, and I'm snapping at my friends from the stress!

...this is the good stress, right? I don't know. I'm freaking out.

http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2...33653.aspx

Surprise! Another school shooting! This time in Germany.

Don't bother reading the article. It's so stereotypical, words cannot begin to describe it.

Loner treated like shit by fellow students? Check.

Shooting at a high school/University? Check.

Owned a copy of Counterstrike? *Sighs* Check.

Gunman killed over a dozen people before committing suicide? Check.

Local community shocked? FUCKIN' CHECK!