Awkward moment: I was in the high school bathroom and I needed to use the John, so I went into the third floor bathroom and my principal was in there a security guard and my music teacher....I mean I was taking a crap but I swear, my principal could make a symphonic movement. I bit my lip so hard not to laugh it didn't stop for ten minutes and the worst thing was he got a piece of toilet paper stick on his shoe...Thank god I had a lunch break and I needed not say more....
Awkward moment: Back in college I was dancing getting people to sign up and join a new dance club that I would be in charge of and I started doing hip hop and breaking in the middle of the concrete floor....So I thought everything was going well...The dj outside wanted me to dance and so I did...and so I started doing my thing all of a sudden this guy who thinks who could bust a move starts grabing me. I was like "WTF?!" This is not a fight...I was doing a top rock while he was licking himself on the floor. I was doing pop and lock and he tried to tie my shoes together....I was embaressed and I wanted to kick that guys ass soooooo badly. He made me like a fool...Good news is I got over 50 people to join it....
Awkward moment: Back in college during a speech I used my friend as a demonstrator and I did a proper solar plexas shot and he flew 20 feet away....Some kid during it started to say that was fake, so I proved him wrong it was him and 5 other guys that volunteereed...I had each one signing a waiver saying I am not liable and I went into a Kata and went into a chant and I speareed plexes and made all 6 people fall down....The one who volunteered I had return his chi and the others felt like they hit a brick wall...their total weight about 1000 pounds....Now everyone in that class is to mess with me.....Gee I wonder why? ....Peolpe on campus dont want to mess with me...Thats too bad......
I'll think of more....
Gun: Hmmm... awkward moment that DOESN'T involve my lovable, sweet, big brother Velmont... (we had a truce, he'd be nice to me if I shut up about his love life)
This was when I first decided to get a dog: I got up early so I can reach town by 12, I found a pound, so I went inside.
Gun: Hello? Is anyone here?
A girl who was trying to feed an aggresive Rottie scampered to me. "Oh hi- sorry- do you need any- hey- aren't you that- Ganter Vector guy- or whatever his name is-
Gun: Uhm.. yes. I'm sorry... I know where this is going, I'll leave.
She stopped me "No- I'm okay with that-"
It felt great hearing that- I felt high. "That's great- thank you so very very MUCH- I wanted a companion s'all, can you show me some?"
so she took me around, showing several dogs and several cats, eventually she reached the growling and barking rottie. "I'm afraid he's too vicious, maybe another one?"
I asked what would happen if nobody bought him, she said they would put him to sleep. suddenly- the chain that held him broke, and she screamed cuz we were in the cage. The rottie tackled me- he was heavy- so I lost my balance, I tried to get up on all fours, I could hear her yelling "Bad Varis! back!!".
The next thing I knew- I was thrown forward, and "Varis", was furiously humping me, which was VERY awkward- it was embarassing.
"I'm SO SORRY- He never did that before!" She apologized. I just said I'd take him, and that was that. He was one of the dogs I took in, and one of the first to get new homes. But the day Varis humiliated me in front of the girl in the pound, never left my memory.
Me: One that has nothing to do with Velmont...
I was in Dubai, visiting a very good friend of mine. He was a Judo/Karate/Jujitsu instructor, and I had a sit in as he teached his class.
Hazan: Okay, that's good for today- I want you all to meet my friend, Raynard. He flew all the way from Romania, so his arms must be tired.
Me: How many times must I tell you- I'm not a vampire.
Hazan: It was a joke, my friend! Would you be so kind as to volunteer for my next demonstration?
Me: Of course, just tell me what to do.
I went forward in front of his students, there were only twenty three that day, so it was spacious. We bowed.
Hazan: Listen- the importance of Karate, Judo and Jujitsu- is for self deffence and self deffence ONLY. Ray here, may not be very good at any of that, are you not, Ray?
Me: True, I'm mediocre, I have no style.
Hazan: I am going to show you all why it is all important to know at least one style, it's easy to beat someone with no particular style at all.
*a student raises his had* "What can Sir Raynard do then?"
Hazan: Fine question! My friend will attack me, holding nothing back, and I will take him down. Don't hold back, okay? Try to get me to the ground.
Me: Okay.
*Another student raises his hand* "Are you really from Romania? Do they what do they call you there?"
Me: Yes, it's very cold there at this kind time of month. They call me many things, but my favorite is Blitz.
*another student raises her hand*: You mean like in tyhe Road Rovers?
*students laugh*
Hazan: Enough with the petty questions, I will use Rokyu- remember, in Rokyu- Nage Waza, Ukemi Waza, Atemi Waza, Gatame Waza, Kansestsu Waza, and one minute- self-deffense Kata-
Students: SIR.
Hazan: Raynard, BEGIN!
Hazan stood casually, pretending to to mind his own business. I used a simple right hook, he planned to show some "pride" by dodging back- but as soon as the right hook didn't connect- I thrusted forward, and hit him with the back of my palm, then withrew. I think I hurt him bad, because he was bleeding.
Me: Are you okay?
Hazan: I am fine- I was holding back- Serious now!
He performed several Jujitsu and what I think was Kobojutsu. He was Good at Shotokan Ryu as well... Unfortunately, he was always o.6 or o.34 Seconds too slow, resulting in me reversing, dodging, blocking, or making a counter. Eventually I flicked him on the nose, side reversed to his back- and aplied pressure to the fifth vertabrae, Resulting in him losing almost all of his "Chi", and placed him in Zazen position. He came to.
Hazan: What just happened- you were right there- then suddenly I was out cold-
*student* I blinked and missed it-
Hazan: Uh- STUDENTS- Blitz is a- un... Shintanuki (He made up the style style to escape humiliation) Master, it is a form of Tai Chi Chuan- and- uhm- MIX. That is all for today.
It was awkward, he lost fifteen students that day, they actually thought I was using "True Racoon/Perverted" Style. I had to explain that it was all random moves from around the world.
Another one is in the local library, I wanted to borrow a book on Canids, (With a little too much enthusiasm) The librarian asked "You're not going to masturbate on it are you?"
What went through my mind: How did she KNOW!?
Shadow: I would've hit her with the book.
Slashmon: Is violence you answer to everything?
Shadow: I just go with what works.
Shadow: Pfffft! So what? I got banned from the local library and went back the next day, they didn't even remember.
Slashmon: Tell them what you did! This story is hilarious.
Shadow: Well they have this statue in the front of a boy reading a book. So I took some super glue and pasted a playboy to the fake book. I mad sure to open it to one of the dirtiest scenes, it was hilarious.
Sigh- they would've executed me if did that- you're lucky- LOL!!
i just recently got kicked out of a Bar/Club because my Friend Was Fucking the Bartender on the Floor in the Bar......he brought the bartender with him -_-'
Woah- Vel did the same damn thing!! Only- he did it with the waitress too-
-only... he wasn't thrown out. He got discounts.