I'm not suicidal...but just fucking end it all...

[Misty]

God...fucking leave me alone about Collin. Seriously. It makes me uncomfortable when people talk to me about him. I get shit about it every single day and I'm sick of it. No, I'm not totally over him...I KINDA like him...there's a fucking difference!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know, I consider him as a friend, but the way it seems, he wants me dead...

[Casey the furry one]

Well in your first post it sound like you two were a item at one time. Your over reacting for over some one that is a just a friend. Please do not flame me for my comment right now very annoyed with somethings right now.

[Misty]

Yeah....as if I'm not annoyed with things...my mom is the worst person in the world and my grades are dropping because of her and my dad is going to bitch me out. I need anymore shit from anyone....so don't say anything like that to me unless you intend on getting flamed.

[Casey the furry one]

Do something change your situation or just hide like Casey does when thing get hard like he is doing now.

[DragonMasterX]

I'd rather talk this on MSN, but you know, I really thought we were friends. As you said, friends care about friends, I care about you, but seemingly, you think I hate you, I don't know where you get that from, but if that's how you feel, I can't do anything about it. Listen to Herr Mullen, think about yourself, if you think I or everybody else hate you, then drop our friendship. You feel hurt? You don't know how you are making the people you say that 'care' for you feel from that.

[Misty]

See...that's the thing. I always hide everything because I don't want people to know and be like 'I'm sorry' or 'Aww, do you need a hug?' or try and comfort me. I hate it. I came to school almost crying a right away...like 4 people asked me what is wrong and I only told 2. I have that habit, which I think brought me to the habit of cutting (no I don't cut anymore) and my really bad temper/attitude. Everyone tries to help, when they can't. I try to fix things, but I end up making things worse. Especially between friends..Gabu..Collin..I love both of them with all my heart (as friends) but I always seem to do something to mess things up. I feel like I don't know myself anymore.

Mar...we are friends. I just always have the feeling that people hate me. I want to change, but I can't. my past makes me the way I am..and I can't change my past. And you have to understand. When I said that...it was the beginning of what's happening now. I think I'm like this because of some personal female problems...because I've noticed a pattern. But that's besides the point. I am so afraid of losing friends that I think they hate me. Like with my friends at lunch. I sit by my other friends now because I think my usual friends don't care. I messed up my friendship with Gabu and Collin. I want our friendships to remain what they were about 5 months ago. I want to mend the ties or whatever and start fresh with the both of them so bad.

[Casey the furry one]

Casey is just like you when here medal in his friends affairs normally makes then worse and when the world get to much for him to handle he hides goes and hides. Oh by the way I'm Jay and I hate being called C.J.

[Lukos]

Okay, Misty. You know I love ya, but I'm really about to be blunt as a beach ball with you, because we've been through this before.

What the heck do you think you're doing?! "I'm a failure!" "I hate myself!" "I need this guy to be happy in order to live!" Are you kidding me?! It's flat-out ridiculous! You're lonely? You're depressed? You're hated? YOU are the ONLY person that hates you, Misty! YOU'RE making YOURSELF lonely by restricting yourself to a Collin-only circle of friends! He is NOT your life! People who have been married for DECADES aren't like this over each other! Why must you depend on him to be happy?

Life is NOT, NO WAY, NO HOW, going to be handed to you on a silver platter! You're sad? You're lonely? Get out there and make some friends! I know, you're gonna say "easier said than done" or something like that. No it's not! Everybody needs a bit of space sometimes, including Collin.

The United States Declaration of Independence stated that you have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. PURSUIT of happiness. Meaning YOU have to find happiness! Why must your life depend on Collin? Did God make you Siamese twins or something? Cause unless you two are connected by some kind of umbilical cord, your life DOES NOT depend on him! When you were on the phone with me I couldn't stand hearing you cry and tell me that your life does depend on him. That is the biggest fallacy I've ever heard.

Hating yourself? That's something you've gotta deal with! I hate that I'm not as muscular as Arnold Swar--can'tspellit--negger, and my next door neighbor wants Madonna's hair! We ALL hate things about ourselves, Misty! But you're stuck with what God gave you, so what, you're gonna kill yourself cause you don't like it?

LIFE SUCKS!

Misty, you're making it suck more for yourself! I could picture Frank Sinatra singing "It sucks to be yooooou.... it sucks to be yooooou...." Why are you doing this to yourself, Misty? Just why are you hurting yourself? Because that's exactly what's going on. You have absolutely no, NO reason to treat yourself the way you do! You have no reason to be crying day and night! The only problem is that you're obsessing over someone! You've dug yourself into a pit, it's filled with water, and instead of swimming to the top you're sulking at the bottom saying "Woe is me!"

Now ask yourself. How can you fix this?

I care about you, Misty, as a friend. It frustrates me sooo much to see my friends do this to themselves, and though I try to be gentle it just bubbles out. I'm not mad at you, but you really need to stop driving yourself crazy over this! Don't worry about what people think about you. Who cares what they think? I sure don't! At the end of the day, what matters is who YOU are. And don't tell me I don't understand, because I don't need to understand. It's you, Misty, who needs to understand and you who needs to help you get out of the flipping pit. All your friends can do is support you. You have to stop freaking about what people think and about Collin and get it together! Figure out just who you are and what you can do before you go nutso over what you aren't and what you can't!

[Misty]

Seriously...my life doesn't depend on him. If it did, I think I would have been dead by now...and am I dead...? No...I'm not. If it depended on him, I would talk to no one but him. I'm not restricting myself to a Collin-only circle of friends. I have friends that don't like him. I don't care if they do or don't. The only thing that matters is that I have friends. And I NEVER said that my life depended on him. I hate my life because I'm never happy anymore. I don't know what will make me happy. It would be nice to have a mom that gives two shits about me and doesn't waste her life by drinking and smoking. That's why I'm not happy. It's not easy having to deal with a single parent that gets drunk every night and her having a boyfriend that is just as bad as her. I've been giving him space....believe me....I have.....even if he doesn't say it. I just talk to him. Is that a crime? No..

I want to be able to fix this...I really do, but it's hard for me to do it by myself...my mom says she's going to change.....she doesn't. Nothing hurts more than having a parent that won't change for the safety and sake of her one and only child that she supposedly cares about and loves. It would be nice if she could acknowledge that I am a teen with teen problems. She knows I'm moody, but yet she doesn't take that into consideration. And as far as Collin is concerned.....he's not helping me work this out...how do you expect a friendship to work out if the other isn't being reasonable? The reason why I stress about this is because our friendship was on the line and we were trying to fix it..it was going good for a while. I'm NOT OBSESSED WITH HIM!!! I just don't want to lose him as a friend..he is a great friend..

I know I have to pursue happiness. I try to..but I've lost interest in a lot of things. I depend on ALL the people that are around me. Both family and friends, even though my friends understand me more. My friends do make me happy. I love my friends dearly...and I eggagerated with the hatred thing. Lately it seems that my friends don't talk to me as much as they used to..making me think that...........so I'm sorry for even bringing this up.......I made a complete fool out of myself...................so I'm awfully sorry..............I'm truly sorry.............see this is what I mean.......I stress things too much. I'm just so afraid of so many things, that I'm insecure about myself and don't think very highly of myself.

:( :( SORRY

[Wisemon]

I hate my life because I'm never happy anymore. I don't know what will make me happy.

Few of us can say that we're truly happy. We are among the discontented species. The media and society have created preconceived notions of human happiness. You must learn to transcend these influences. Then you will be happy, as happy as the mouse with his specially-formulated mouse food at the end of the maze.