02-03-2006, 08:47 AM
not bad needs a lemon scene though not just:
(Gunter: (to readers) we can only imagine what happened next.)
very nice rough draft you should definately finish it and keep writing whether people like it or not.
Now as a diehard class 5 Final Fantasy nerd: you got the personality's of the characters great. Zell's curiosity of machines, squall's attitude, Rinoa's slutiness, and the others. One small, miniscule, unimportant mistake I noticed, and am only mentioning because i'm a nerd, is that Selphie's ultimate weapon is called the "strange vision" not "save the king" but that's no big deal.
(Gunter: (to readers) we can only imagine what happened next.)
very nice rough draft you should definately finish it and keep writing whether people like it or not.
Now as a diehard class 5 Final Fantasy nerd: you got the personality's of the characters great. Zell's curiosity of machines, squall's attitude, Rinoa's slutiness, and the others. One small, miniscule, unimportant mistake I noticed, and am only mentioning because i'm a nerd, is that Selphie's ultimate weapon is called the "strange vision" not "save the king" but that's no big deal.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
