10-16-2009, 02:09 AM
This is actually a common question among women who have been raped by a boyfriend.
Most of them ask if they should forgive the man after some time has passed. (This applies to women who have been raped by men they know as well..) And from my own experience... I'll give the following advice.
If you feel that he has been punished enough, and you are able to think about what happened without it hurting you all over again, then it is okay to forgive him. However, you still need to be careful. If he did it once, he is likely to do it again. Especially if you didn't report it to the police, which is a lot more common than it should be.
If you do decide to forgive him, that doesn't mean you should go sleep with him right away.
And remember, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive, and you definitely shouldn't forget. I've given this last piece of advice many times, and it usually helps...
No matter how it makes you feel to think about what happened, don't let it make you fearful. Get angry, be sad, but the moment you let yourself be afraid, you give him back the control that he wanted in the first place.
Most of them ask if they should forgive the man after some time has passed. (This applies to women who have been raped by men they know as well..) And from my own experience... I'll give the following advice.
If you feel that he has been punished enough, and you are able to think about what happened without it hurting you all over again, then it is okay to forgive him. However, you still need to be careful. If he did it once, he is likely to do it again. Especially if you didn't report it to the police, which is a lot more common than it should be.
If you do decide to forgive him, that doesn't mean you should go sleep with him right away.
And remember, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive, and you definitely shouldn't forget. I've given this last piece of advice many times, and it usually helps...
No matter how it makes you feel to think about what happened, don't let it make you fearful. Get angry, be sad, but the moment you let yourself be afraid, you give him back the control that he wanted in the first place.