Even though it has been aproximiny 17 years,would it be considered to be a bad mistake to return to an ex that has seriously hurt you?
He raped me in my ass,I was in my early 20s when this happened.
If he is regretful and truly wants to be a better person, MAYBE.
If he isn't, fuck no.
I think you need to tell a bit more than just "raped your ass." Were you together at the time or was he a stranger and raped you against a wall in a dark alleyway? Did this happen when you were unable to stop him or were you going to have sex with him but he took your ass instead without your consent? Do you like him on emotional, physical, or mental level? Why are you asking us about this?
Not only should you not take him back, you should smash his balls between two bricks.
Although I still have my dislikes for people. I would have to say you'd be an idiot to go back to someone who "Raped" you.
If he did in fact rape you, you shouldn't go back to him no matter how sorry he seems. If you actually asked him to do it, but he was too rough about it, then maybe, but only after he knows exactly what the limits are on the relationship. And no matter what you do, don't jump into bed with him right away.
And also, I agree with the idea of violence against him if he did actually rape you... If I thought we lived anywhere near eachother, I'd offer to come help.
This is actually a common question among women who have been raped by a boyfriend.
Most of them ask if they should forgive the man after some time has passed. (This applies to women who have been raped by men they know as well..) And from my own experience... I'll give the following advice.
If you feel that he has been punished enough, and you are able to think about what happened without it hurting you all over again, then it is okay to forgive him. However, you still need to be careful. If he did it once, he is likely to do it again. Especially if you didn't report it to the police, which is a lot more common than it should be.
If you do decide to forgive him, that doesn't mean you should go sleep with him right away.
And remember, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive, and you definitely shouldn't forget. I've given this last piece of advice many times, and it usually helps...
No matter how it makes you feel to think about what happened, don't let it make you fearful. Get angry, be sad, but the moment you let yourself be afraid, you give him back the control that he wanted in the first place.
Butt rape is still better than the other kind. At least he didn't do it in a way that could've gotten you pregnant. After that much time has passed, his libido has probably waned to the point where he won't need it that badly anymore.
Rape isn't about Sex, Wise. It's about control.
Anyway, yea.. I'd take Niyara's advice on this one.
Quote:Rape isn't about Sex, Wise. It's about control.
I would argue that the majority of sexual assaults by strangers in dark-lit public areas are about sex, and even some of the rapes by people you know, especially if you count date rape as rape, which you should.