How do you get out of the habit of being a loner?

[Soaring Birdramon]

Get professional help. I'm serious. I've been seeing a shrink for a year and a half and it has definitely opened up my world socially. There are things a doctor can help you with that people on a forum, or even your own friends and family, couldn't ever do for you. You should consider it if it's at all possible.

[Humon]

I'd be wearing speedos if I was to expose a scar I have. thet is the only obvious scar... well, actually, it's not so obvious any more, but it's the most obvious scar I have. it's at the top of my leg right next to my crotch. the rest, I treat properly so it heals with barely any mark, if any.

[mowgly]

well something I can do is ... stop thinking, going to someone and talking about something interesting trying to be normal, seeing the way they react about it will teach you what face expressions and attitudes you can adopt.

[BlackPhoenix]

Whats so bad about being a loner?

[Harie Krauzer]

Well, the thought of having no one around can be frightening to some, and it is always good to have good connections.

[mowgly]

it's strange that'd you'd always want to be alone when there someone worth being with. Usually it's just because no one seems good enough or that they might hurt ya.

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

A loner or being alone, that is the question.

What happens if the person is unable to cope with the fact that they let so many into their soul only to have it browbeaten or stricken with a thundering kick in the crotch region?

"Time heals all wounds"

I hate that quote because you want to be able to alleviate all the pressures of a heartbreak or something that happened that was horrid, its like riding a bike, you fall, scraper your knee, wipe it with something that cleans that cut usually burning and causing more pain, dust yourself off, and get back on it and try once again. No matter how many times you fall, just as like riding a bike, gather yourself and continue to ride life even if you were to fall again. Friends are one of the greatest gifts in life cause when you feel like life has really cause you much grief and pain, they are the ones with the first aid kit, the tissues, the ice cream relief......

I guess you should just do what you normal did, I mean just surround yourself with people, maybe start off slow, a half an hour and keep it rather simple nothing too complex and then increase it again with time and see the results.

Good luck with it and I hope (if you want to) that you wont be a loner anymore....

[Anonmon]

it's strange that'd you'd always want to be alone when there someone worth being with. Usually it's just because no one seems good enough or that they might hurt ya.

There's also the notion that people in general won't like you. I believed in that one for a long time, until camp. Not sure if I don't believe it anymore now or not, really. I haven't been in the social "real world" for long enough (read: ever) to know.

What I mean is, it can be true.

However, to give positive advice: make eye contact. Many of us loners or near-Asperger's-cases never realize it, but to most people making eye contact can be like physical touch. It can convey any emotion, in addition to giving a "window to the soul". It can even feel forceful; I've heard of people bargaining better deals by making very powerful eye contact.

[That One Internet Guy]

I'm my[ass-kicking]self, and I accept that. If I don't like something about myself, I'll either deal or try to change it. I won't obsess, though.

CBoy, I'm a lot like you, although I only keep a few close friends with me.

[cboy]

it's strange that'd you'd always want to be alone when there someone worth being with. Usually it's just because no one seems good enough or that they might hurt ya.

When I first moved here, I was real outgoing. I made "friends" with my next door neighbor's kids and we had some fun times. I told them all about what it was like for me before I moved here; what the kids back home teased me about and all that. Well, when school started, these "friends" of mine told those things to a lot of people, who then used them to tease me. Three times, I tried to make friends with the people who teased me, only for them to stab me in the back. I got in a lot of trouble because I was always getting angry at these people. I went to this counseling group and seemed to make friends with everyone there, only for my luck to repeat itself with them.

It continued through elementary and middle school. Around the end of middle school, I found something that seemed to keep me from getting mad and thus keeping me out of trouble. I found that by just keeping to myself and not showing any emotion when people teased me, I didn't get mad. Since I had met one person who wanted to be my friend and my experience with people hadn't given me any reason to trust anyone, I kept my lone wolf attitude all the way through high school.

And now, with only one friend to my name, I'm feeling the results of my actions; and I hate it. I'm hoping for a little luck in college, but I still haven't totally gotten out of being a loner.