My lemon

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

hey guys, I've been working on this lemon for a while, finally I release it to you guys, oh and Veegato/Daikari fans don't hate me for what I put ^_^

Happy Birthday Gatomon




Happy Birthday Gatomon

By Hikari Yagami Kamiya

Kari stood up half all last night cause in two days she plans on throwing Gatomon a sweet sixteen birthday party and she invited all her friends and the digimon and even extended a invitation to Mewtwo, Biyomon's loving boyfriend and partner, Kari sighed to herself since Biyomon found true love in Mewtwo and yet she wondered if TK will confess his feelings for her before Davis forces himself into her life, she looks at Gatomon who's asleep on the bed.

"I bet she's dreaming of Patamon" Kari says as she finishes up as she hears a knock on her window " Now who could that be? "She goes to her window and opens it as Veemon falls in" Owww" Veemon rubs his head as he gets up" so hows my girl doing?" Veemon asks Kari knowing he's irrating her with that, for weeks Davis had bragged that Kari was his girlfriend and got a lot of enemies especially TK Takaishi, the one who loves Kari the most." Veemon, Gatomon is ok and she's not your girl" Kari replies harshly "Well your Davis' girl, so Gatomon's my girl, it's simple logic ya know" Veemon replies as he sits on the bed and starts to rub Gatomon's back.

"Veemon you jerk I said leave!" Kari shouts as Gatomon wakes up to the rubbing "Patamon? Is that you?" Gatomon asks but feels Veemon's claws running down her back" Veemon!!!! Get off me!!!!!" Gatomon shouts tossing Veemon off but Veemon growls and grabs Gatomon and looks her eye to eye" Listen up Gatomon. You are my girlfriend and that's final besides we all know Patamon can't make love to anything but the diapers he wears at night!" Veemon shouts as he forces Gatomon close to him "Veemon! Leave her alone!" Kari shouts just as a familiar orange form flies into the room and tackles Veemon down.

"Hey guys sorry I was late" Patamon says as he gets up just as Gatomon glomps him and kisses his cheek" Patamon I was just dreaming about ya." Gatomon said happily, just as Veemon gets up and glares at Patamon eye to eye. "Now who let you out of your crib Patamon?" Veemon shouts. "For one I am not a baby and two I came to see how Gatomon was doing, I didn't think Kari would allow a jerk here" Patamon replies as Veemon tries to headbutt him but misses and slams into the window and into the pavement below." Woah! Long fall. "Patamon says with a smile as he looks at Kari and Gatomon. "Kari can I take Gatomon to digiworld?" Patamon asks" Sure Patamon" Kari replies as she points her D-3 at her computer "Digiport open!" She shouts as a digiport opens as she lets Patamon and Gatomon go in, she closes the port and waits for them to email her when they want to come back.

Two Digimon, namely, Patamon and Gatomon were walking together through a beautiful gardenlike region in the DigiWorld, with a flowing river running through the region. The night skies were littered with sparkling stars and the full moon was out shining in all its glory. It was peaceful and serene and the couple wanted the time to be alone with each other away from their partners and everyone else. For the past hours the both of them have been walking together through the DigiWorld as though they wanted to catch up with some time together.

"It's beautiful night, isn't it?" Gatomon said as she looked at the stars "Yeah, but having you makes it all worthwhile." Patamon said as he smiled at her

Gatomon smiled and blushed "Thank you. I like being with you very much. I just hate what just happened in Kari's room. I swear I'll make Veemon pay for what he did to me and how he use me against you." she said as she look into his eyes

"We both will Gatomon, I promise you." Patamon told her. Then the two stay silent briefly as they continued walking until they walked near to a river, Gatomon smiled evilly and Before Patamon could say a word, the white feline Digimon pushed Patamon into the running river water. The orange Digimon popped out of the water as he gasped for air. He then looked at his feline friend as she laughed at him.

"What was that for?" Patamon asked her as he floated in the water "well is just that when I saw the river I couldn't resist the temptation of push you into the water" Gatomon answered as she continued laughing at him "Why you...!" Patamon started to say to then jump from the water and started chasing her.

Gatomon made it her effort to get away from Patamon, before he caught and dunked her into the waters. But her own speed became her downfall when she tripped and fell to the ground, granting Patamon enough time to catch up to her.

"Oh no, my fur's dirty." Gatomon said as she looked at her now dirty fur as Patamon smiled "Don't worry pussycat, I know of a way to clean that off for you."

Gatomon saw the look on Patamon's face as he grabbed and picked her up, taking her back to the river. She yelled and struggled to break free but Patamon managed to her on to her till he reached the river.

"Let's get you cleaned up pussycat." Patamon said taking hold of her, to then threw her into the water, seeing a nice sized splash resulting from it. A now soaked Gatomon surfaced from the water giving out a yell as she swam for the shores where Patamon was waiting.

"How was it?" Patamon asked her grinning as she glared at him "Look at me! I'm wet, cold and my fur is a total mess! It'll take hours for my to clean up this messy fur of mine."Patamon smiled "Well look at it this way, at least you'd have something to do and now you're all clean."

As annoyed as Gatomon was, she could help but laugh after acknowledging that she was the one who started the whole thing to begin with. Patamon then approached her and took her into his embrace and kissed her. As Gatomon opened accepted his kiss, she saw that there was something different about this one. It felt more affectionate and wonderful than any Patamon ever given to her before. It felt completely new to her. Patamon was enjoying this just as much as he felt her close, felt her wet fur against his skin served to arouse his further as he started caressing her. The orange Digimon then move his mouth toward her ear.

"Gatomon?" Patamon whispered softly into her ear "Yes?" Gatomon answered softly as she snuggled into him "Do you love me?" Patamon asked "...Yes..." she responded with a smile in her lips "Am I worthy of you?" he asked next "Yes...You are worthy of me..." she answered back completely lost in the hug.

Moving closer to him, Gatomon started purring amorously as she began licking and kissing his neck. Slightly backing away from him, Gatomon grabbed her mittens and pulled them off her paws and tossed them to the side. Forming a sly smile on her face, Gatomon walked over to Patamon and kissed him again as she guide one of her paws to his sheath region, which was under his stomach, stroking it as she went along.

The orange Digimon was now feeling a warm and pleasant sensation that traveled throughout his body as Gatomon continued her works on him. Soon, his member started emerged from its protective sheath, speedily stretching and growing in size as his arousal grew till it was fully out. She then moved closer and started nibbling on his neck softly.

"...Gatomon..." Patamon whispered lowly "...Patamon...I want you...just as much as you want me..." she told him in a seductively voice

After a few seconds she stopped nibbling his neck and backed away from him teasingly, yet enticingly. She was able to see the look in Patamon's eyes, knowing that he was in the heat and that he wanted to take her right now and there. On instincts, Gatomon turned and positioned herself on all fours and raised her violet tail up, granting Patamon total access to her. Moving to her, Patamon positioned himself behind and over her as he held onto her waist. Slowly he pushed his hardened member into her.

"Oooh...Oh Patamon..." Gatomon moaned as she felt waves of pleasure surge trough all her body. Waves of pleasure surge through Patamon's body too. She closed her eyes as she felt Patamon's love rod slide into her. The orange Digimon moaned lowly while feeling the silky wetness of her threshold. He had imagined it would feel good. But, he had no idea that the feeling would feel this good. He moaned and pushed into her more until he was all the way in her, taking away their innocence in one motion. They both stayed motionless for a short moment, feeling a whole an entirely new feeling they never experienced before.

Slowly Patamon began moving in and out of her of her moist threshold while gradually building up speed and rhythm with each of his motions. Gatomon now started moaning as her body shook with waves after waves of pleasure and sensations, after getting used to Patamon being inside her. His member moved deeper into her with each of his thrust. All thoughts of their surroundings seemed to have vanished out of their minds. All they could think of was each other. Gatomon cried out his name in sheer ecstasy as her ears lowered. She begged her mate to keep going.

"...Oh Gatomon...it feels so good." Patamon moaned loudly as he continued thrusting his love rod in her vagina "...Oh Patamon!...Yes...Harder Patamon...Harder!" Gatomon moaned loudly as she felt how Patamon granted her wish and started to thrust harder than before.

Cries of pleasure and delight echoed through the area with every thrust and caress. As Patamon continued entering and leaving her a number of times, he felt his pleasure rising with every passing second. As Patamon humped her from behind, he had started to rub her ample breasts with one of his hands. Her body was still wet, but it only served to around the orange Digimon further as he continued vigorously. Gatomon never felt such sensational pleasure in her life and as a Champion Digimon she was amazed at her a Rookie was able to pleasure in ways she couldn't begin to describe.

After a couple more minutes, Gatomon was now able to feel herself ready to climax. Patamon was feeling her threshold beginning to latch down on his member with every thrust he gave as he felt his body begging for relief, but he tried to hold on for as much longer as he could.

Soon neither of them was able to hold on any longer. Gatomon gave out a loud yet pleasured yowled as a small pool of love juices was released out of her, leaking to the floor. After hearing her pleasured outcry, which was erotic in its own way to him, Patamon was now sent over the edge and looked up to the full moon and stars in the night sky, filtering the skies with a primitive and mighty angelic roar as he released his orgasmic fluids into his mate. Patamon was able to feel a part of his being escaped from out of him and flow into the feline Digimon. Gatomon's breathing slowly caught up to her as she relaxed her body, stilling feeling her mate continuing to release into her. She looked at Patamon, who was embracing her around her waist gently.

After filling her with seed, Patamon stayed in the same position he was in with her for a short while till he eventually pulled out of her, letting his limp member returned to its home inside its sheath, feeling his breathing returning back to normal. Both Patamon and Gatomon were surprised to see that neither one of them reverted down to any of their lower forms, even though they both were tired and exhausted.

"That was...so wonderful." Patamon said as Gatomon smiled lovingly at him "I know...I loved it." she said softly

As he went and sat down by a tree, Gatomon took her mittens and placed them back on. After doing so, she went over and sat on his lap as she purred on him feeling satisfied. Patamon wrapped his arms around the white feline Digimon, holding her close to him.

"...Thank you Patamon...for making this a real special night..." Gatomon said, purring in pure happiness. "...I'm so happy to have with me. You complete me Gatomon, you're my missing half." Patamon said as he kissed her softly "I feel the same way about you too. I love you Pata-chan. Don't ever let me go." Gatomon said softly to him after he kissed her "I promise Gato-chan...I love you just as much." Patamon said as the feline Digimon cuddled closer to him.

Gatomon then closed her eyes and yawned "...Goodnight, my sweet Patamon." she said to him Resting her head on his shoulder, Gatomon soon fell asleep while enjoying his embrace. "Sweet dreams, Gatomon."
The orange winged Digimon said to then rested his head on top of hers as he eventually drifted off into sleep. That night the both of them dreamt of the love they shared.

The next day Patamon and TK head to the mall, Patamon looks around as he plans on getting Gatomon the best present she can ever ask for

[Wisemon]

It would be hypocritical of me to call your story biased to a fault. I made Kouji into an asshole. I made Takuya into a pothead. I made Kouichi into a necrophiliac. Then they all got killed off. Still, I'm not nearly as flagrant in my couple favoritism as you. Just so we're clear, I'm on your side. Takeru and Hikari belong together...in the center of an erupting volcano. Okay, so I'm neutral. Yep, "fuck 'em both" is a neutral opinion.

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

Wisemon don't flame my hard work.

besides I meant this to be a Takari/Patagato you baka

[Wisemon]

I spent an hour writing for my latest post on things you'd never hear on Digimon. It was the best one yet. Then I got an invalid session, which didn't surprise me too much, but I couldn't go back to my page for some reason, so I lost my work. Like Servant said, it's just one of those days. If you're stuck up, you just lucked up, next in line to get fucked up, or in this case, flamed. Burn, burn, yes, you're gonna burn. Another fuckin' radical bombtrack. I don't necessarily mean any of the aforementioned statements; I just like quoting "Break Stuff" and "Bombtrack" when I'm pissed off. All apologies to anyone in my line of fire.

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

apology accepted Wisemon

[Tank Cop]

very well detailed and so well though over!

One of your best ever! ^_^

Keep them coming!

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

will do ^_^

[urban dream]

Well, even though I'm not much a Takari/Patagato fan and so on, this is an OK piece of writing. The descriptions are mostly okay and there's a plot (not a very original one, but still, it just about works). I do have a number of issues with this, though.

1. - Most characters here seem to be somewhat out of, uh, character... Especially Veemon : P

2. - You change grammatical times quite a lot. The lemon starts out in the present ("she plans on throwing..."), and then suddenly changes to past for the bit when Patamon and Gatomon are in the Digiworld, even though it happens after the first bit (or that's how I understand it, anyway). After that you change to present again, and to and fro between the two grammatical times a number of times more throughout the rest of the lemon.

3. - You definitely need to work on your punctuation. You very often forget periods or commas, or write commas instead of periods, which screws up the flow of the text. Here's an example:

Kari stood up half all last night cause in two days she plans on throwing Gatomon a sweet sixteen birthday party and she invited all her friends and the digimon and even extended a invitation to Mewtwo, Biyomon's loving boyfriend and partner, Kari sighed to herself since Biyomon found true love in Mewtwo and yet she wondered if TK will confess his feelings for her before Davis forces himself into her life, she looks at Gatomon who's asleep on the bed.

And this is how it should be:

Kari was up for half the night, cause in two days she plans on throwing Gatomon a sweet sixteen birthday party and she invited all her friends and their digimon, and even extended an invitation to Mewtwo, Biyomon's loving boyfriend and partner. Kari sighed to herself since Biyomon found true love in Mewtwo, and yet she wondered if TK would confess his feelings for her before Davis forced himself into her life. She looks at Gatomon who's asleep on the bed.

Also, while I'm at it -- using paragraphs more often also helps to make the text more readable. Especially before a new line of dialogue.

As in:

"Mewtwo, you know that hood isn't necessary," Kari says with a giggle, catching the psychic pokemon off his guard.
"Well Kari, I'd rather not startle the humans that live here," Mewtwo replies as he sits down on a chair.

instead of

"Mewtwo you know that hood isn't necessary" Kari says with a giggle catching the psychic pokemon off his guard "Well Kari, I rather not startle the humans that live here "Mewtwo replies as he sits down on a chair

4. - Strange choices of words. Example: "Kari stood up half all last night". "Stood up" implies that she was actually standing the whole time, as in, she had no opportunity to sit down, which isn't the point, I think. Also, "half all"? Either it's half or all, but not both. It should've been "Kari stayed up for half of the night", or something like that. Stuff like this happens a couple of times throughout the lemon.


Still, it's not a bad effort altogether. I'd give it... hmm... 6,5/10, maybe. Or 7/10. Meh, I don't know. Anyway, my recommendation: Have someone spellcheck your lemons. That should get rid of the punctuation problem, at least. That and some practice should have you writing high-quality lemons in no time whatsoever. ; )

[Red Mage Dragon Tiamat]

well I overread over the Vee terms, since I am not surprised at all and I remember you are the one who dislikes the VeeGato and DavisKari.

I have such a bad memory.

Well for the lemon you did a great work so far.

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

thanks for the reviews guys and Urban I'll take your advice but for now I'll wait before writing again.