That's what the main man say

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
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"Gee, I always wanted to be the subject of a thermodynamics word problem on an exam."

[Wisemon]

"I had an ulterior motive for helping the kid with calculus. He knows a lot about robotics, and if I ever need to take over the world, some robots could come in handy."

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"I found out that the girl had been told to lie about taking jiu-jitsu lessons in order to introduce herself to me. Then I remembered that we had a jiu-jitsu conversation the next day, and she played along. I remembered our handshake when she introduced herself, and I felt a little less guilty about having shaken with a hand that had just masturbated. If she wanted to build from a lie, in a way, she got a microscopic piece of what she was probably after."

[Wisemon]

Nobody ever said being a shepherd was easy:

Me: Are you spitting into the toilet?
Freshman Kid *walks out of stall and switches to spitting into sink*: Yeah, a cigar didn't agree with me.
Me: You didn't smoke it inside, did you?
Freshman Kid: No, of course not.
Me: You shouldn't smoke those. They're addictive. There's lots of other reasons, but the most pressing is that they're addictive. You also stink. Why did you smoke it?
Freshman Kid: I don't know.
Me: Look, just because you're in college now, doesn't mean you have to try everything.

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"Now I know what it's like to walk through a cloud of garbage."

[Wisemon]

"The man had to be in his mid-fifties. He was doing his best to jog, in his shorts and his t-shirt. I let him get forty feet ahead of me. Then, with my cargo pants and polo shirt, and my 25 pound backpack, I ran right past him. That ought to teach him a lesson-there's no substitute for youth."

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

Me two months ago: The class is called linear systems. It's linear, so it can't be that hard.
Me now: Yeah, except it's linear in the S domain, not the t domain.
Me two months ago: Wha...oh shit. Are you sure this is a requirement for our degree?
Me now: Yep.

[Wisemon]

"I wonder if Our Lady Peace played at Christopher Reeves' funeral."

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"If you're from the Bronx, and I mean only the Bronx, none of the other boroughs, it's okay to root for the Yankees. If you're a rooter from elsewhere, you're bandwagoning talent hogs."

[Wisemon]

"Fine, if the Red Sox win the series, I'll streak across the hallway with you."
Two games later:
"I meant the World Series, not the pennant."