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Anna said absolutely nothing to him at first, just pressing her face into his chest, breathing deeply to keep from breaking into sobs.
"Do you hate me?: she asked softly. "Is it something I did?" She sniffed and clung to him tighter. "Or are you really just afraid? Afraid of being hurt. Hurt by me... hurt by others using me to get to you...? Is that it?"
Shadow's eyes widened at her words and her actions, wanting to push her away, yet not doing it. Finally, unable to stand her crying, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.
"I had a girlfriend once. Have you ever heard of Jinx*?" he asked.
OOC:
*She's a kitty version of the cartoon character.
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She nodded slowly. "I know of her. She's a top HIVE agent, right?" she mumbled into his chest, happy that he was at least holding her. "Why? Did something happen to her?" She looked up at him, concerned.
Shadow seemed ready to cry, the memory he was about to share very painful. Not wanting Anna to see him weak, he released her and turned away, tears starting to fall down his cheeks.
"She and I were dating...back when the Teen Titans first appeared. At first, it was just a stupid crush between friends...but it soon became more," he said, looking off into space.
"She and I eventually fell in love and admitted our feelings to each other, though we never made love. We planned on leaving the Hive and getting married. Then...in a battle with the Titans, I ended up severly humiliating Robin. I knew about his crush on Starfire...and I used it against him," he said, sitting down on the weight bench.
"Well...Starfire and Robin didn't appreciate what I did to them...and they knew about my love for Jinx. Well, it turns out the Titans aren't the heroes everyone thinks they are. They captured her and...tortured her...raped her...just to to get back at me. By the time I found her...she was no longer the fearless, loving girl I fell for. She felt so used and dirty...she didn't think she was worthy of my love anymore" he said, head in his hands. Finally, he turned back to the cyborg girl, tears running down his face like waterfalls.
"She committed suicide a few days later," he finished.
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"Some heroes..." she said softly, brushing her hand over his cheek gently, wiping away the remaining tears. "They didn't just destroy her, they destroyed you." She said softly, pressing into him. "But I understand. What it feels like to be weak. To be ugly..." She held her arms out between them, the light reflecting off of them slightly. "I never wanted these. I hate the way they look. The way they make me look. I feel ugly... defective... everytime I look at them." She looked up at him again. "I know what it feels like to be so desperate that you just want it all to end... but I'm stronger than that." She said finally, looking up at him defiantly. "You know I am. You've seen my strength; both my physical power and my resolve."
Shadow turned to her, looking at her arms, taking one gently in his hands.
"What happened?" he asked, gently stroking her arm.
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It was Anna's turn to hesitate. "I suppose since you've told me your painful memories, I owe you the same." She took a deep, shuddering breath and smiled slightly. "My father used to be scientist. He was working on a new form of power source for his bioelectric prosthetics. Things like these." She showed him her arms again. "Anyways... the prototype was inherently unstable, and I tried to warn my father not to test it before he'd dealt with the instability. He didn't listen, and I had to destroy the device bare-handed. The resulting accident cost my father his ability to walk, and me my central nervous system and my lower arms." She shuddered at the memories of the pain; the electricity arcing through her body, burning her from the inside out. "My father was slowly dying from the complications of his injuries. I joined the HIVE in hopes that maybe I could learn to use my powers to get enough money to pay for his operation..." She looked away again, sniffing. "He died a few hours after I learned I was accepted. Talk about cruel irony, huh?" she said, fighting back more tears. "The world's been cruel to me... so I think it owes me a little something for putting up with it..."
"The world is a cruel place, Anna...that's why I'm so cold and dispassionate," he said, releasing her arm. "Jinx'es death taught me the curse of attachements...so I decided that in order to survive, I had to keep free of any attachments to anyone," he said, though his words were hollow, as Anna was slowly starting to chip away at the shield of ice he had worked so hard to encase himself in.
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Anna clung to him tighter. "But love can be a strength too... a reason to fight for what you believe in, even though every sane and rational thought screams at you not to..."
Shadow cocked his head to the side, surprised at her logic. He had never actually viewed love like that...then again, he remembered how determined he had been to find Jinx, and he knew it had been because he loved her.
"You...you have much wisdom, Anna...but I'm not sure if what I feel for you is love. I've gone so long without it...I've forgotten what it feels like," he said, tears once again starting to fall.
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