Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
|
Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
|
06-02-2006, 12:00 PM
Actually, I wanted to see the story. And it's not that hard if you read about it.
And tamers has some simularities with it. Plus both girls are 14 so they're jailbait. (and red head Asuka is way hotter then blue haired Rei) 
06-02-2006, 03:01 PM
Asuka is hilarious, I loved the part where they first introduced her and the wind blew her skirt up. I almost died laughing at that scene.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
06-02-2006, 03:42 PM
It's been awhile since my last actual joke post, I just couldn't find any that made me laugh, but here are the ones I found during my recent search:
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT CASE: A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. weeks later The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned." "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile. "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'. . . I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!" This is why America rules: Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer -- are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious new state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable." The engineer says, "I wish it was filled with water." Jokes to offend anyone, use at own risk: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbs What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong". What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides And of course the blond jokes: A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
06-02-2006, 03:54 PM
LOL once again the amazing laughter I get from reading shadows jokes.....ROFL!!!
06-02-2006, 03:54 PM
hahaha...the last blonde one was funny. I was wondering what all that was going to lead up to!
06-03-2006, 12:35 AM
I've heard a lot of those jokes before. The court case is a joke.
http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/busrider.asp It never did happen but it is funny.
06-03-2006, 08:40 AM
Heres a joke my brother told me earlier...
A math teacher gives the class this problem: There are three birds sitting on a fence. A kid throws a rock at the one on the left. How many birds are left? Johnny: All 3, because the birds saw the kid throw it and they flew off. Teacher: No, there are 2, but I like the way you think. Johnny: Mrs, can i give you a problem to solve? Teacher: Sure. Johnny: There are three women sitting and eating ice cream pops. One is sucking on the ice cream, one is licking it, and one is biting it off. Which woman is married? Teacher: *blushes* Well, i guess the one who's sucking. Johnny: No, the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you think.
06-05-2006, 10:28 PM
Theres a similar question in one of the tests I made for Velmont, Blue and Gunter, it was for an experiment I was conducting on streetsmarts:
"You are driving your car at night, and it is storming. Your car breaks down near the woods. You get hungry, so you take out an umbrella, and walk into the woods to find help. You find an old cabin, and decide to stay there for shelter. you open the door, it's cold, dark, dusty, and you are freezing. You try the lights- but there doesn't seem to be any electricity. You find a candle, and old Gas lamp, a fireplace, and a stove. You open the matchbox, but find only one match. In order to survive, What will you light first? Think Wisely." Try to answer it, then give me your reasons. Their answers: Gun: The stove! Cuz it's warm- then you can cook some food! Vel: The Fireplace, then you can light the candle, then the lamp, then the stove. Easy. Blue: The candle, because it's the easiest to light. Then you can light the fireplace, and then the stove- and then the lamp. Now where do you sleep? What's Your answer?
06-05-2006, 11:37 PM
I'd light my umbrella on fire. No, i'm kidding. I'd probably light the fire, because it would give me heat, light, and a place to cook.
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
