Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
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Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
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05-04-2006, 04:11 AM
Q: Why does a mute girl need two hands when she fingers herself?
A: She needs one hand to finger herself, and she needs the other hand so she can moan. 
05-04-2006, 04:28 AM
Funny:
I was in my back yard yesterday, trying to fly a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind caught it for a few seconds, then it came crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife is watching me from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opened the window and yelled to me, "You need a piece of tail." I turned with a confused look on my face and said to her, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite." The 8th reason not to mess with kids. A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of lifesavers The children began to say: "Red............Cherry" 'Yellow..........Lemon" 'Green..........Lime" "Orange.......Orange" Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them none of the children could identify the taste. "Well" , he said, "I'll give you all a clue; it's what your mother sometimes calls your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled;"OH MY GOD!!!! THEY'RE ASSHOLES" Now for something educational, how to say I love you in 17 diffrent languages: English . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . I Love You Spanish. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . Te Amo French . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . .. . Je T'aime German . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . lch Liebe Dich Japanese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... Ai Shite Imasu Italian . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. Ti Amo Chinese. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . Wo Ai Nin Swedish. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . .. . . . Jag Alskar Alabama, Arkansas, Idaho, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia and Kentucky. . . . . . . . . "Nice ass. Get in the truck."
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
05-05-2006, 10:06 PM
Shadowknight Wrote:Alabama, Arkansas, Idaho, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia and Kentucky. . . . . . . . . Hey! I'm from Texas! *looks at her surroundings for a second* Damn, hes right...XD
05-06-2006, 01:36 AM
And I'm from Kansas, but I like to think I'm slightly more classy than that. Ahhh sweet delusion.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
05-06-2006, 03:36 AM
Yes but kansas has different problems. And I'm from one of those but I am not anything like that.
05-06-2006, 09:21 AM
Here's why I'm tired and cranky all the time,
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why:. . . The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes. Nice. Real nice.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
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