04-03-2012, 08:25 AM
Much more detailed than the first two. :D
Just a few things I noticed:
1. A blowjob is when you suck a guy's dick. Oral sex with a girl is eating her out/licking her pussy.
2. Stacy's undressing wasn't as interesting as it could have been. It seems odd that she'd just take off her own clothes in school just because they're wet.
3. It just seems strange and awkward that the basketball teams end up completely naked and then "nothing happened". If they weren't going to fuck, it would have been better for Stefan to at least sneak away (maybe while stroking his cock).
Otherwise, great story! I need to start working on ideas for the next part. :D
Just a few things I noticed:
1. A blowjob is when you suck a guy's dick. Oral sex with a girl is eating her out/licking her pussy.
2. Stacy's undressing wasn't as interesting as it could have been. It seems odd that she'd just take off her own clothes in school just because they're wet.
3. It just seems strange and awkward that the basketball teams end up completely naked and then "nothing happened". If they weren't going to fuck, it would have been better for Stefan to at least sneak away (maybe while stroking his cock).
Otherwise, great story! I need to start working on ideas for the next part. :D
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