08-12-2006, 05:33 AM
Quote:it's strange that'd you'd always want to be alone when there someone worth being with. Usually it's just because no one seems good enough or that they might hurt ya.
When I first moved here, I was real outgoing. I made "friends" with my next door neighbor's kids and we had some fun times. I told them all about what it was like for me before I moved here; what the kids back home teased me about and all that. Well, when school started, these "friends" of mine told those things to a lot of people, who then used them to tease me. Three times, I tried to make friends with the people who teased me, only for them to stab me in the back. I got in a lot of trouble because I was always getting angry at these people. I went to this counseling group and seemed to make friends with everyone there, only for my luck to repeat itself with them.
It continued through elementary and middle school. Around the end of middle school, I found something that seemed to keep me from getting mad and thus keeping me out of trouble. I found that by just keeping to myself and not showing any emotion when people teased me, I didn't get mad. Since I had met one person who wanted to be my friend and my experience with people hadn't given me any reason to trust anyone, I kept my lone wolf attitude all the way through high school.
And now, with only one friend to my name, I'm feeling the results of my actions; and I hate it. I'm hoping for a little luck in college, but I still haven't totally gotten out of being a loner.