08-01-2006, 10:42 AM
I haven't really talked about this in a while, so I doubt many of you heard in the first place or even remember I mentioned it.
Back in February I started my round of auditions to get into a Masters program for voice. My auditions were New England Conservatory (Boston), University of Toronto, Glenn Gould School of Music, and University of British Columbia. On the whole, my round didn't go so well: I was accepted into 2 programs and rejected by 2. Ouch.
The two I was accepted into were Glenn Gould (who offered about $17 CAD) and NEC. Since NEC is a much more prestigious school and I'd actually get a masters degree instead of a performance diploma, I opted to take the offer from NEC. They offered $9, 666 for my first year. And I accepted.
"Well that's just swell!" you might say, and yes it is. Nearly $10,000 is a fair chunk of change, the like which I've never seen or had in my posession. Ever.
It's swell in theory only.
Here's the catch: as an international student, the cost of going to school in the US is, frankly, astronomical. All told, one year of school at NEC (including residence and other stuff) will run me $45, 271.
Right, so I need $45, 271 to get through first year. Right now, the $9, 666 brings me down to $35, 605. I got a Canada Student loan that works out to about $8, 638 USD, bringing my total down to $26, 967. By the time I actually go, I might be lucky enough to have ~ $2500 USD in my bank account, bringing me to $24, 467.
That's a huge sum of money to take out a loan on, and a loan of that size would almost certainly be denied, regardless of who in my family tried to take it out. Even if I could get a loan that size, the loan payments would cripple me and I'd likely end up on the street pretty fast with half a degree and no job to get back on track. Yay for bankruptcy!
Couple this with the fact that all I hear about seemingly daily is that practically everyone else has gotten FULL FUNDING for their programs, and here I am struggling to try and pay for the first fucking semesters.
I know I'm a quitter for saying it, but I just feel like I should give up. It just doesn't seem possible, short of an extremely convenient (and exhorbitantly large) lottery win.
Anyway, I just felt like I needed to express how truly stressed and worried I am. Till now, my direction in life has been pretty straightforward, and it seems that what I thought was my calling is denying me a truly amazing opportunity to follow it.
Yeah...that's it. Leave encouraging words if you feel like it. Even though it's 2 hours earlier than I usually do, I think I'm going to go to bed. I suddenly feel very tired and dejected.
Night.
Back in February I started my round of auditions to get into a Masters program for voice. My auditions were New England Conservatory (Boston), University of Toronto, Glenn Gould School of Music, and University of British Columbia. On the whole, my round didn't go so well: I was accepted into 2 programs and rejected by 2. Ouch.
The two I was accepted into were Glenn Gould (who offered about $17 CAD) and NEC. Since NEC is a much more prestigious school and I'd actually get a masters degree instead of a performance diploma, I opted to take the offer from NEC. They offered $9, 666 for my first year. And I accepted.
"Well that's just swell!" you might say, and yes it is. Nearly $10,000 is a fair chunk of change, the like which I've never seen or had in my posession. Ever.
It's swell in theory only.
Here's the catch: as an international student, the cost of going to school in the US is, frankly, astronomical. All told, one year of school at NEC (including residence and other stuff) will run me $45, 271.
Right, so I need $45, 271 to get through first year. Right now, the $9, 666 brings me down to $35, 605. I got a Canada Student loan that works out to about $8, 638 USD, bringing my total down to $26, 967. By the time I actually go, I might be lucky enough to have ~ $2500 USD in my bank account, bringing me to $24, 467.
That's a huge sum of money to take out a loan on, and a loan of that size would almost certainly be denied, regardless of who in my family tried to take it out. Even if I could get a loan that size, the loan payments would cripple me and I'd likely end up on the street pretty fast with half a degree and no job to get back on track. Yay for bankruptcy!
Couple this with the fact that all I hear about seemingly daily is that practically everyone else has gotten FULL FUNDING for their programs, and here I am struggling to try and pay for the first fucking semesters.
I know I'm a quitter for saying it, but I just feel like I should give up. It just doesn't seem possible, short of an extremely convenient (and exhorbitantly large) lottery win.
Anyway, I just felt like I needed to express how truly stressed and worried I am. Till now, my direction in life has been pretty straightforward, and it seems that what I thought was my calling is denying me a truly amazing opportunity to follow it.
Yeah...that's it. Leave encouraging words if you feel like it. Even though it's 2 hours earlier than I usually do, I think I'm going to go to bed. I suddenly feel very tired and dejected.
Night.