03-16-2003, 05:28 AM
GM: As Queen Jeannette and Ruby begin their first day as an official couple, our heroes in the woods are about to begin their first day on a rather dangerous but highly pornographic adventure. And they'll be starting their day with a very rude awakening indeed...
*The four girls are woken up by a very loud and persistent grumbling noise...*
Foundling: Damn it all, Sphinx. You snore too loudly.
Sphinx: 'S not me, luv.
Little Red Tab: Maybe it's a giant?
Sphinx: Not likely. If it were a giant, we'd be hearing a slow series of thuds. But we're instead hearing a loud grumble, like wheels or summat.
Sacarissa: Wheels... like, oh I don't know, CARRIAGE wheels? *Her eyes are wide, with dilated pupils, and she's turning very white, and looking off in the distance...*
Sphinx: What are you talking about, gosling...? *She scans the forest until she can see what Sacarissa is looking at, and then she suddenly steps in front of the other girls, her feline body arched sharply, her claws digging into the ground...*
Sacarissa: BIG carriage wheels... drawn by a BIG boar...
Little Red Tab: Sweetie, are you all right? *Now she sees what's going on, and she grabs Sacarissa's arms, pulling her into a protective bear hug...*
Prince Foundling: What the bloody Hell is... *She finally sees it* Oohhh Christ... THERE'S A BIG BOAR-DRAWN CARRIAGE COMING RIGHT AT US!
*Almost intinctively, she leaps onto the Sphinx's back, and they pounce at the giant boar, while Little Red Tab pulls Sacarissa out of the way. The Boar and Sphinx collide with the sound of a feline yowl and a fierce animal cry. Prince Foundling leaps off the Sphinx's back just as the poor creature's momentum is reversed by the momentum of the boar, which sends the Sphinx hurtling into a tree. Prince Foundling balances precariously on the angry beast's bottom lip, and then rides the bridge of it's snout, and, using a tusk to anchor herself, she delivers a blow right between the creature's eyes.*
*The creature screams and rears its head, almost impaling Prince Foundling's bare ass (fortunately for everyone, it missed by several inches). The girl-prince is thrown off and lands in a very fortuitous stream nearby. The boar finally loses control and, breaking ties with its carriage, charges madly about, before finally toppling to the ground. And the carriage flies forward until one of its wheels grows too hot and breaks away from the axles, veering off into a tree, and then the carriage falls over, eliciting screams from its occupants, and effectively ending the crisis at hand.*
*The carriage door is kicked open, and a very large, and very pissed-off man breaks out. This is Andarog*
Andarog: Arright, who's the fuckin' cunt who beat up Ass-Raper?
Prince Foundling: Ass-Raper...?
Andarog: My boar! You beat up my bloody boar!
Prince Foundling: Oh get a horse, you lunatic! Why the fuck would you have a savage boar pull a carriage?!
Ass-Raper: Hey! I resent that! I'm intelligent enough to talk!
Prince Foundling: ...? I've got to get out of these woods...
Voice from inside the carriage: What is going on? Was anyone hurt?
Andarog: *grin* Oh plenty were hurt, Miss Euphony. Ass-Raper was beaten up, this bitch got thrown, and we managed to knock a Sphinx for seven yards! Heh, I broke my own record for Sphinx-tossing!
*Euphony emerges from the carriage. She is stunning, with a tall and voluptuous figure, magnificent brown eyes, and long red curls. She may not be as busty as a queen, but, wearing only a black silk robe which exposes all of her important features, she could definitely capture plenty of hearts.*
Euphony: *surveying the scene before her* Oh damn... *she casts a large healing spell, effectively restoring everyone* Well, hello all. Name's Euphony Thered. This is sort of awkward, but do any of you know the way to Rapunzel's Tower?
*All the girls just stand there, gaping at this beautiful woman standing before them.*
Euphony: Damn it. This always happens. 'Kay, could any of you cuties escort me to the tower? I assure you, you'll be rewarded most generously.
All three girls: *in unison* OKAY.
Sphinx: You may ride on my back, milady.
Euphony: Very well.
*They ride off, with Euphony riding upfront, awhile Prince Foundling has her arms wrapped around her waist, and her head rests on the girl's shoulder, with the other two holding onto her own waist.*
Euphony: If you don't mind my asking, what are three girls and a sphinx doing lying naked in the middle of the woods?
Prince Foundling: Oh, just fucking each other's brains out. Why are you heading out to Rapunzel's tower?
Euphony: My sister is getting married. I must get there before it's too late.
Prince Foundling: Don't want to miss the bachelorette party, eh?
Euphony: If I don't get there on time, there won't be any bachelorette party. She'll be dead!
Prince Foundling: Huh?
Euphony: My sister jumped from an arranged marriage to a male andromancer, and has become betrothed to an ordinary female. What's more, she has cast the "Queen-Maker" spell upon the girl, which makes her girl almost immortal. You can imagine the outrage that the warlock felt, having a would-be fiancee run off to be with a regular girl. He's a particularly violent andromancer, able to control the minds and bodies of men. He's already moving through all the local towns, turning all the men and boys into musclebound warriors. He's built an army!
Little Red Tab: Well, your sister could do something like that... right?
Euphony: She's a gynomancer, only able to control the bodies and minds of females, and creating an army of unwilling civilians is frowned upon in witch society. Besides, having two armies involved would undoubtedly lead to the slaughter of hundreds of innocents.
Sacarissa: So what will you do?
Euphony: The only way to end this conflict is for my sister's girl to kill the andromancer. It must be the betrothed who kills him, or else his family will just get another andromancer to avenge him. I must find the girl, and teach her the magic needed to survive the battle.
Prince Foundling: *Very nervously, because she's sure that she already knows the answer* So who are the blessed couple, then? (After all, they don't yet know this, since they've been in the woods all night.)
Euphony: My sister is Rubiyat Thered. She has become engaged to Queen Jeanerella.
Prince Foundling: Oh... *slowly thinks about it* OH SHIT! WE'VE GOT TO HURRY! THEY'RE AFTER RUBY AND JEANNETTE!
Good God, this was a long post. Well, we've got an interesting new twist on the plot (plus several new characters, to boot). Will our heroines survive to see the big day? Well, actually, yes (no worries, darling, I'm not gonna write anyone killing you).
Your move, darling. Remember, your character and Ruby don't yet know about this army headed your way.
*The four girls are woken up by a very loud and persistent grumbling noise...*
Foundling: Damn it all, Sphinx. You snore too loudly.
Sphinx: 'S not me, luv.
Little Red Tab: Maybe it's a giant?
Sphinx: Not likely. If it were a giant, we'd be hearing a slow series of thuds. But we're instead hearing a loud grumble, like wheels or summat.
Sacarissa: Wheels... like, oh I don't know, CARRIAGE wheels? *Her eyes are wide, with dilated pupils, and she's turning very white, and looking off in the distance...*
Sphinx: What are you talking about, gosling...? *She scans the forest until she can see what Sacarissa is looking at, and then she suddenly steps in front of the other girls, her feline body arched sharply, her claws digging into the ground...*
Sacarissa: BIG carriage wheels... drawn by a BIG boar...
Little Red Tab: Sweetie, are you all right? *Now she sees what's going on, and she grabs Sacarissa's arms, pulling her into a protective bear hug...*
Prince Foundling: What the bloody Hell is... *She finally sees it* Oohhh Christ... THERE'S A BIG BOAR-DRAWN CARRIAGE COMING RIGHT AT US!
*Almost intinctively, she leaps onto the Sphinx's back, and they pounce at the giant boar, while Little Red Tab pulls Sacarissa out of the way. The Boar and Sphinx collide with the sound of a feline yowl and a fierce animal cry. Prince Foundling leaps off the Sphinx's back just as the poor creature's momentum is reversed by the momentum of the boar, which sends the Sphinx hurtling into a tree. Prince Foundling balances precariously on the angry beast's bottom lip, and then rides the bridge of it's snout, and, using a tusk to anchor herself, she delivers a blow right between the creature's eyes.*
*The creature screams and rears its head, almost impaling Prince Foundling's bare ass (fortunately for everyone, it missed by several inches). The girl-prince is thrown off and lands in a very fortuitous stream nearby. The boar finally loses control and, breaking ties with its carriage, charges madly about, before finally toppling to the ground. And the carriage flies forward until one of its wheels grows too hot and breaks away from the axles, veering off into a tree, and then the carriage falls over, eliciting screams from its occupants, and effectively ending the crisis at hand.*
*The carriage door is kicked open, and a very large, and very pissed-off man breaks out. This is Andarog*
Andarog: Arright, who's the fuckin' cunt who beat up Ass-Raper?
Prince Foundling: Ass-Raper...?
Andarog: My boar! You beat up my bloody boar!
Prince Foundling: Oh get a horse, you lunatic! Why the fuck would you have a savage boar pull a carriage?!
Ass-Raper: Hey! I resent that! I'm intelligent enough to talk!
Prince Foundling: ...? I've got to get out of these woods...
Voice from inside the carriage: What is going on? Was anyone hurt?
Andarog: *grin* Oh plenty were hurt, Miss Euphony. Ass-Raper was beaten up, this bitch got thrown, and we managed to knock a Sphinx for seven yards! Heh, I broke my own record for Sphinx-tossing!
*Euphony emerges from the carriage. She is stunning, with a tall and voluptuous figure, magnificent brown eyes, and long red curls. She may not be as busty as a queen, but, wearing only a black silk robe which exposes all of her important features, she could definitely capture plenty of hearts.*
Euphony: *surveying the scene before her* Oh damn... *she casts a large healing spell, effectively restoring everyone* Well, hello all. Name's Euphony Thered. This is sort of awkward, but do any of you know the way to Rapunzel's Tower?
*All the girls just stand there, gaping at this beautiful woman standing before them.*
Euphony: Damn it. This always happens. 'Kay, could any of you cuties escort me to the tower? I assure you, you'll be rewarded most generously.
All three girls: *in unison* OKAY.
Sphinx: You may ride on my back, milady.
Euphony: Very well.
*They ride off, with Euphony riding upfront, awhile Prince Foundling has her arms wrapped around her waist, and her head rests on the girl's shoulder, with the other two holding onto her own waist.*
Euphony: If you don't mind my asking, what are three girls and a sphinx doing lying naked in the middle of the woods?
Prince Foundling: Oh, just fucking each other's brains out. Why are you heading out to Rapunzel's tower?
Euphony: My sister is getting married. I must get there before it's too late.
Prince Foundling: Don't want to miss the bachelorette party, eh?
Euphony: If I don't get there on time, there won't be any bachelorette party. She'll be dead!
Prince Foundling: Huh?
Euphony: My sister jumped from an arranged marriage to a male andromancer, and has become betrothed to an ordinary female. What's more, she has cast the "Queen-Maker" spell upon the girl, which makes her girl almost immortal. You can imagine the outrage that the warlock felt, having a would-be fiancee run off to be with a regular girl. He's a particularly violent andromancer, able to control the minds and bodies of men. He's already moving through all the local towns, turning all the men and boys into musclebound warriors. He's built an army!
Little Red Tab: Well, your sister could do something like that... right?
Euphony: She's a gynomancer, only able to control the bodies and minds of females, and creating an army of unwilling civilians is frowned upon in witch society. Besides, having two armies involved would undoubtedly lead to the slaughter of hundreds of innocents.
Sacarissa: So what will you do?
Euphony: The only way to end this conflict is for my sister's girl to kill the andromancer. It must be the betrothed who kills him, or else his family will just get another andromancer to avenge him. I must find the girl, and teach her the magic needed to survive the battle.
Prince Foundling: *Very nervously, because she's sure that she already knows the answer* So who are the blessed couple, then? (After all, they don't yet know this, since they've been in the woods all night.)
Euphony: My sister is Rubiyat Thered. She has become engaged to Queen Jeanerella.
Prince Foundling: Oh... *slowly thinks about it* OH SHIT! WE'VE GOT TO HURRY! THEY'RE AFTER RUBY AND JEANNETTE!
Good God, this was a long post. Well, we've got an interesting new twist on the plot (plus several new characters, to boot). Will our heroines survive to see the big day? Well, actually, yes (no worries, darling, I'm not gonna write anyone killing you).
Your move, darling. Remember, your character and Ruby don't yet know about this army headed your way.