05-03-2006, 04:23 PM
Herr Mullen wrote:
Herr, I understand what you are saying that even the smallest irregularity in the story could make the reader dwell on it instead of the story. Granted, I knew that but I understand why you said why we can't ask them to cushion the blow because its their right to be able to analyze it to the fullest extent of their capabilities. As a reviewer the point is to be critical to maximize the piece to a nirvana, a plane which I know is far away but with a little work and tuning here and there it can be achieved.
Unfortunately Herr, its not downloading properly and it almost corrupted my files. So I am off to look for something else that is free and very easy to manage....
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Now Circeus wrote:
Ok. First and importantly, the reason why I defended myself so strongly is because I knew all the mistakes that you pointed out before you were going to say them. That wasn't the point, the point was to get my fear of posting stuff I have written on here. Now with that said, I do owe you a bit of an apology. You could blame it on Male PMS if you like but I've been clouded with negativity and I shouldn't have lashed out. I am not sorry at the fact that as any author each criticism is molded into the best approach to attack the writing piece. In the same likeness an author has the right to agree and disagree with a view of the points that you brought to my attension. Yes, I could tell you believe in the tough love policy and you do see something in me potentially. I understand your points and I see your validity...
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Rorancrystalwolf wrote:
Thanks for the critique, diamond in the rough....That's one of my lines :P...
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Shadowknight wrote:
I enjoyed the format actually because I made it so if anyone is willing to make an animated Digimon cartoon (xxx content) I have a script. Or if you want to have fun with a bunch of friends you could read this.
I see your point but this is why I am conflicted. What I might do is write one in a narrative way and the other repair and do my whole series in that way, one in script and the other in narrative....Still conflicted though...
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Senjuro wrote:
Senjuro......ummm....Let me say this yes I did see that he did say that my work has potential but that is a given, everyone has potential and its up to the individual to make the best of it. I know that you know as well as a few others here know me personally, you understanf why I reacted this way and why it sent me over the edge. In the way you are also telling me that just like in life there will be those people that will find your work unsatisfactory and others think it to be amazing. That is the beauty that is argument and writing. Thanks for your honest opinion.....
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I am looking forward to tackling my lemon as soon as I get a new program better than word pad and I enjoyed each criticism because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No one's perfect and I am not, so keep sending me your critiques if you feel like it. Also, if you could help me in my dilemma over which format that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :!: [/quote]
Quote:Reveiwers have a duty to be critical. The important thing is that you take these points on board and rectify them where you can. I'm sure you can learn something about tences and consistancy, at least. Don't expect a reveiwer to cushion the blow, however. It's a writer's duty to make the readers either enjoy his/her work or think about it; this peice's aim is to be enjoyed. Thus, all obsticals to the readers' enjoyment should be removed. Cirieus has listed the things that kept him from enjoying it; now its your job to remove all bars from his path of enjoyment. That is what feedback is.
Herr, I understand what you are saying that even the smallest irregularity in the story could make the reader dwell on it instead of the story. Granted, I knew that but I understand why you said why we can't ask them to cushion the blow because its their right to be able to analyze it to the fullest extent of their capabilities. As a reviewer the point is to be critical to maximize the piece to a nirvana, a plane which I know is far away but with a little work and tuning here and there it can be achieved.
Quote:A free word processor. This is to Office what Firefox is to IE; the best alternative around. I'd recommend it, certainly.
Unfortunately Herr, its not downloading properly and it almost corrupted my files. So I am off to look for something else that is free and very easy to manage....
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Now Circeus wrote:
Quote:I want to be clear. I'm being harsh, and I'm the first to admit it. I see a lot, a LOT of good stuff in there. Good description, very nice erotic writing. But there's also some stuff that is not up to par with the rest.
I don't think it'd be a good thing for you, as far as your writing is concerned, to tell you that everything's great and OK. There's room for improvement and I see potential for great stuff from you, so now is not the time to tell you to kick back and relax. Quite the contrary, it's time to work and improve.
Basically,I'm not being harsh just to be harsh; I'm being harsh because I think you can take it and become a great writer....
Ok. First and importantly, the reason why I defended myself so strongly is because I knew all the mistakes that you pointed out before you were going to say them. That wasn't the point, the point was to get my fear of posting stuff I have written on here. Now with that said, I do owe you a bit of an apology. You could blame it on Male PMS if you like but I've been clouded with negativity and I shouldn't have lashed out. I am not sorry at the fact that as any author each criticism is molded into the best approach to attack the writing piece. In the same likeness an author has the right to agree and disagree with a view of the points that you brought to my attension. Yes, I could tell you believe in the tough love policy and you do see something in me potentially. I understand your points and I see your validity...
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Rorancrystalwolf wrote:
Quote:Well I like it. It is a diamond in the rough kind of situation but that is why I like it so much! I like it alot and can't say much for the grammar because I stink at that kind of stuff Very Happy
Thanks for the critique, diamond in the rough....That's one of my lines :P...
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Shadowknight wrote:
Quote:It's kinda confusing how it seems to have both. The grammar and stuff isn't that noticeable to me but I don't pay much attention to it. Basically just the script format is what confused me. Otherwise a pretty good story, just pick the format that's easier for you.
I enjoyed the format actually because I made it so if anyone is willing to make an animated Digimon cartoon (xxx content) I have a script. Or if you want to have fun with a bunch of friends you could read this.
I see your point but this is why I am conflicted. What I might do is write one in a narrative way and the other repair and do my whole series in that way, one in script and the other in narrative....Still conflicted though
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Senjuro wrote:
Quote:I think it shows promise too. As you rebuild your familiarity with the show and how the characters interact, I think your writing will feature a sharp increase in characterization. I feel that mine did between my first a second lemons (the first I hadn't watched a single ep since they were aired, the second one I had seen about 15 or so eps, and by the third I'd seen all of them and most of season 2). Just be patient with yourself. Like anything, it takes a while to refine a style that's truly your own but people also enjoy. Don't lose your zeal; you can do great things.
It takes guts to post up your own work on the web. Lord knows it took me about 4 or 5 tries to hit send in my hotmail to send my first lemon.
Anyway, if you have any further lemon ideas you wanna bounce off someone, you know that I'm here, bro. *snuggle*
Actually, that goes for anyone. Not like I'm saying that I'm a writing guru, but I'll at least give you an honest opinoin.
Senjuro......ummm....Let me say this yes I did see that he did say that my work has potential but that is a given, everyone has potential and its up to the individual to make the best of it. I know that you know as well as a few others here know me personally, you understanf why I reacted this way and why it sent me over the edge. In the way you are also telling me that just like in life there will be those people that will find your work unsatisfactory and others think it to be amazing. That is the beauty that is argument and writing. Thanks for your honest opinion.....
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I am looking forward to tackling my lemon as soon as I get a new program better than word pad and I enjoyed each criticism because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No one's perfect and I am not, so keep sending me your critiques if you feel like it. Also, if you could help me in my dilemma over which format that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :!: [/quote]
