What do you hate to see in a lemon?

[Wisemon]

Spoken like someone who's never read a comic book in their life.

I don't read too many comics, but I know that Marvel does have quite a bit of this, like, The Age of Apocalypse, or Spider-Man Unlimited. Still, they shouldn't be knocked like that.

What do I hate in lemons? Too many things to list. If I'm just looking to get off, I'll let stuff go, and I really won't care, as long as I like the couple and the sex scene, but if I'm looking for good writing and a good series...Let me put it this way, by my standards for legitimate and enjoyable stories, less than 5% of the writers on this site, or any other fan fiction site, meet my criteria.

Here are my general guidelines:
Proper grammar
A well paced and well conceived plot
Developed characters
No authors putting themselves in the story directly to fuck other characters (putting themselves in as the writer or a god is okay)
No scat, incest, bestiality, blood sucking, or whatever else you sick fucks can come up with.
No boring filler and name dropping just for cultural purposes (Lord Archive's weakness)
No coupling Zoe/Izumi with anyone but J.P./Junpei.