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Dua's Lemon
#11
Alrighty, part 2 then.

It starts out simple enough, therefore I can't criticize it. Waking up, having breakfast, going to get supplies and then, of course, the bath. After I read the word "Bath", I knew what was coming.

Hawkmon and Biyomon both decide to take a bath, and as inevitably as the sun rising in the morning, awkwardness follows. Well, for a second anyway, then the porn music starts up. I found Biyomon's initial "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" reaction funny because I assume that's how most women would react. You go into a bathroom without checking if anyone is in there, strip naked, find somebody in there, and then act surprised like they did it on purpose.

The only thing I could criticize after the awkward meeting part is Biyomon's attitude. She goes from shy about being naked (even though she's always naked) to what I like to call an "Aggressive Slut". By that I mean she goes from being embarrassed to completely switching gears and becoming the sexual aggressor who is making the sexual advances. In my ideal relationship, I guess I would want the girl to make the advances on me, but not that quick. I mean, that was just like... bam. I'm surprised Hawkmon even saw it coming. It wouldn't surprise me if they were talking one moment, she was gone the next, and Hawkmon looked around the room confused until noticing she had ninja'd herself onto his dick. Then she passes out. Man, that would have been awkward putting her back into her bed, especially if one of the others woke up. That would have been hard to explain.

Really, the only thing left to talk about in Part 2 is the very last conversation. I have to wonder how that conversation would have gone after that deliberately bad pun.

“Early bird gets the pus-, I mean worm. Haha!”
"Wait, what?"
"I didn't screw anybody."
"I didn't say you d- What was that about screwing someone?"
"Look over there, it's a bear!"
"Huh?"
*gone*

Well, it wasn't as long. I suppose I don't have any reason to not talk about part 3. I'll edit that in when I'm done, which will probably be before anybody reads this anyway. Just pretend I did it at the same time, I seem less lazy that way.

Side note, I really need to segue my paragraphs so they don't start and end abruptly. That really bothers me, yet I keep doing it. Screw you, me!
In soviet goggles, Russia does nothing.
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Messages In This Thread
Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-21-2010, 01:11 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-22-2010, 11:15 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-23-2010, 10:53 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Asesino - 04-23-2010, 12:14 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-27-2010, 10:39 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Asesino - 04-28-2010, 05:19 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-28-2010, 10:02 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-29-2010, 09:27 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 04-30-2010, 10:43 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-01-2010, 12:33 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Asesino - 05-01-2010, 10:17 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-02-2010, 09:15 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-06-2010, 11:37 AM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-09-2010, 01:43 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-10-2010, 01:41 PM
RE: Dua's Lemon - by Adym - 05-11-2010, 01:25 PM