"Livin' It Up"(mega lemon, drug use) *review*

[Frisk E. Coyote]

Whoo boy... you want this reviewed, right? After trying to sit down and read a couple of your fics, I gotta be frank!

It is VERY hard to concentrate while reading this, because for one thing, I could not care less for drugs. I'm not accusing anyone of using them, and I have a pretty open mind, but when I keep reading about something that I don't care for, it ends up boring me. All the use of drug names, how its administered, its like reading something out of an instruction manual or something, and its a very boring one at that. I had to force myself to keep on reading every time I read "heroin" or "cocaine" or "china white", and I don't even know what that is, and I don't care enough to research. I want to know what the point of the lemon is, is it the sex? Is it Lucemon's relationship with the humans? Is it the drugs? Is it the general era? Who are your target audience (who do you want reading this)? Are you writing this for yourself, or for other people to read? I can't say anymore about the drug use without knowing those, because this is only my opinion, and I think the drug use is boring and tiresome.

The italicized song lyrics are distracting. XD They shouldn't be in the same paragraph as the narrative! It keeps throwing me off when I'm reading, and I end up doing something else! XD Maybe you shouldn't use music in your stories at all, because the things we think about when we hear the same music differs from person to person. You see a whacked out digimon who can destroy worlds somehow ending up as a hippie and fitting right in with humans despite the wings, having sex and doing drugs. Someone else sees an elephant rolling down a hill. See? Totally different. I'm not saying you shouldn't get inspiration from music, just try not to reference the music in your work too much, because that makes people try to focus on the song and the story, and it usually ends up rather conflicting.

Its not a super or mega lemon. There was only one sex scene, and there were only four people. And I couldn't even concentrate on the sex scene thanks to all those lyrics! XD It muddles me up!

And then they take cocaine while doing it.

And there was more description in taking cocaine than having sex! D:

I'm not going to comment on grammar, punctuation or some spelling, because its all decent enough to understand.

After skipping some lines, I find myself totally lost, and I ended up having to back-track to read it all again. Normally, I skim lemons for length and content first before reading them, but it was nearly impossible to comprehend what was going on by merely skimming.

After finishing the story, I actually took a big sigh and asked out loud; "What the bajeezus just happened!?" XD One moment, they were- somewhere- doing drugs and talking about being high. The next, they're walking somewhere where underage girls randomly have sex and offer drugs to underage boys, and then a bed comes out of nowhere and they're fondling each other- and then a table- then more drugs- then some actual sex- all plagued with song lyrics that I keep forgetting have nothing to do with the narrative-

I think you just wrote something that makes people think they're high! XD That's an amazing feat!

Keep on writing, I know you can make something awesome, but try not to pick me as your reviewer as I know nothing about American culture, hippies, drugs and old American songs, so I'll just get confused and frustrated. X3 I'm sure someone else will read it and think its' amazing. I have stupid Asian genes, so... I can't really relate. XD