10-17-2004, 10:08 PM
Koji and Swanmon. That's a new one. I'm not into bird sex, but I like the innovation.
I never thought about the fallout Koji would have with his father after the show ends, so its nice that you addressed that. I have a hard time believing that his father is an insane psycho nutwig though. You took him to the furthest possible extreme, which is a little harsh. I think many readers would have the same reservations.
A couple of points that caught my attention:
"'All right..'Koji smiled meekly.'I've..just never done anyone in their tailhole before so...'"
Is this Koji being macho or something? He's already thought to himself that he's never seen a pussy before, so it seems here that he's faking experience by implying that "tailhole" sex is the new thing... Is that correct?
Also, is Swanmon actually excreting honey? It was an interesting comparison when Koji was thinking it to himself, but then Swanmon went and called it honey too... That was too strange.
Anyways, it's an interesting and creative lemon. The bizarre coupling wins you points. Some of the logic doesn't work out, like Koji's bizarre father and Ophanimon hooking Koji up with Swanmon (doesn't Swanmon have better things to do?). But tackling Koji's family issue was a good idea, and there were some cute scenes with the babies. I give it a 4 out of 5. (When did this turn into a full review?) Keep up the good work. =)
I never thought about the fallout Koji would have with his father after the show ends, so its nice that you addressed that. I have a hard time believing that his father is an insane psycho nutwig though. You took him to the furthest possible extreme, which is a little harsh. I think many readers would have the same reservations.
A couple of points that caught my attention:
"'All right..'Koji smiled meekly.'I've..just never done anyone in their tailhole before so...'"
Is this Koji being macho or something? He's already thought to himself that he's never seen a pussy before, so it seems here that he's faking experience by implying that "tailhole" sex is the new thing... Is that correct?
Also, is Swanmon actually excreting honey? It was an interesting comparison when Koji was thinking it to himself, but then Swanmon went and called it honey too... That was too strange.
Anyways, it's an interesting and creative lemon. The bizarre coupling wins you points. Some of the logic doesn't work out, like Koji's bizarre father and Ophanimon hooking Koji up with Swanmon (doesn't Swanmon have better things to do?). But tackling Koji's family issue was a good idea, and there were some cute scenes with the babies. I give it a 4 out of 5. (When did this turn into a full review?) Keep up the good work. =)