Well, shit.

[DragonMasterX]

Thank you all for your kind words and personal yet similar advices. I actually took the time to ask her for a talk between each other. I really didn't see myself talking seriously with her, but we did. It was a lot of emotional crap to sum it up here, but I honestly don't give a crap about living alone. I already did it last year and I didn't have anybody nearby, and I didn't break down. What had really bothered me was the fact she had gone over me and straight to our parents. She explained herself, however, and also apologized for having done that.

In the end, we both reaffirmed our siblinghood and well, I can tell I expected how this day would turn out: She ended asking me to cook something new for her. And that I did. Internet gave me the recipe for a verrrrrry similar plate in a restaurant back at our hometown. I think I'll ruin their business next.

Other than that, nothing changed. She's decided. Honestly, I told her what I thought: "Look. You're old enough and you're capable of taking decisions on your own as well as being rational and responsible about them. So I respect what you're trying to do."

And it's true. Sure, I don't like it. If I had to compare living alone at a cramped place to living with my little sister, I wouldn't go back to living on my own. But it appears she's compelled, mainly because she believes she's incapable of co-existing with anybody now that she's seen she cannot do it with me. Yes, that's what she said to me: "I thought the only person in the world I would be able to get along with as a roomate would be you, but I guess things turned out differently... Though maybe it's just me."

During the whole conversation, I found a lot of doubt in her words, but I also learned that she really wants to try living on her own out. She wants to live the experience I did before her... I can't really tell her no. She says she wants her own space, her own times, and she wants to be able to complain only to herself when the house's a mess or something goes wrong.

The conversation was over and all I could do was tell her that I'd do anything I could to help her should she need it. She kept saying it wasn't my fault, and that she didn't want me far away from her, but she says she wants her own space. I suppose I sort of exaggerated when I speculated about her thoughts. That, or she was just trying to butter me up. But she was crying all the while, so I doubt it.

Eh, I'm bad at being sentimental. But I'm glad that she doesn't hate me at least, and that she feels bad she went over me with this issue. Still... I wish there was some way to change her mind, she already said she would give up her chance to save money from the summer season to travel to United States to work for a season next year (A dream of hers) so she will be able to afford the extra expenses for the new apartment. I'm not feeling precisely optimistic about this project.

Saying "But I can change." sounds sort of relative, and a bit too drama-full to make her change her decision, but I'm way too concerned right now and I'm debating it. I'm 100% sure I'll sooner or later regret it if she really isn't able to realize her dream because of me. Maybe I ought to just, dunno, tell her I'll do whatever it takes for her to give me another chance for next year. It doesn't sound fair to me, but I guess if she was in my shoes she would do the same for me.

Should I push it and summon her for another discussion? :/