09-22-2004, 12:58 PM
i have so many things going on in my life, it's slowly getting to me and i just can't take it anymore, i need advice form somebody who is relitivly smart at these kinds of things...
i'll start in the order in which they came:
first 2 weeks ago my friend collin, was complaining to me about another friend of ours named shawn. shawn has been ignoreing him and being plain rude to him for quite the while and he was getting frustrated, so last saturday he told shawn to give all the stuff he has ever borrowed from collin and then he says he's just gonna stop talking to shawn. i just so happen to go to the same school as shawn and i could talk to shawn, and see whats up, but i know shawn hates me, so i sit and do nothing...i want to help collin out cause he likes shawn as a freind, even though i hate shawn...
#2: last saturday, my friend Ken goes to the yugioh tournament with a new girlfriend(he got dumped sometime over the week), his new grilfriend is 9 years younger than he is, and he's only 22, so that makes her 13! we all(a group of us that all go to yugioh) werer talking and we all thought that there is too much of an age gap between the 2 and that it's wrong, but nobody will tell ken, and i don't know if i should. if i do he may get mad at me and never talk to me again, and right now i need friends...plus ken seems to be in a new relationship every few weeks, so i don't think it should last, but i don't think this relationship is legal in canada...
#3: yesterday i got so pissed off at my family cause they just got too annoying. the computer repitativly freezes(8 times IN A ROW to be exact) so i'm not really in a good mood and my mom comes in and says i was doing too much on the computer...i was surfing the net andlistening to the computer, our computer can handle that, then my sister comes up and says it's my dled music files and msn messanger thats doing it, so i got angrier and deleted all my music files and msn messanger, then my dad says it's my music program, so i delete that too, and then after all is said and done it turns out that it WASN"T my stuff it was the fact that windows XP sucks and you have to download some program from windows' website to stop the freezing, so i lost everything i do online cause windows sucks, and now i wish my whole family would drop dead, cause no matter what happens, I somehow the first suspect, even though if the police werre to suspect someone they would look at any record of me, and how i behave regularly and think that it would be impossible for me to even JAYWALK, but being the youngest, and the only boy i seem to be the worst person ever!
#4 my school friends hate me, they are open about it, they insult me and tell me they hate me everyday, and i can't just leave them cause i would be all alone in the huge school, although i think i'm just not gonna meet up with them...ever again that is...
#5 i have sunk into depression over the last week, and yesterday and today it's gotten worse to the point that i REALLY REALLY want to kill myself! i have never been this depressed before. I've always had a sight case of depression, ever since about grade 5, but in grade 10, it dwindled away, but it seems to have returned stronger than ever and i just don't think i can fight it anymore, nor do i have the will to fight it anymore...
can someone help me out here with any of my problems? i can't stand anything anymore, i fear i may do something stupid...again(i have attempted suicide before, and i know i'm capable of it...)
i'll start in the order in which they came:
first 2 weeks ago my friend collin, was complaining to me about another friend of ours named shawn. shawn has been ignoreing him and being plain rude to him for quite the while and he was getting frustrated, so last saturday he told shawn to give all the stuff he has ever borrowed from collin and then he says he's just gonna stop talking to shawn. i just so happen to go to the same school as shawn and i could talk to shawn, and see whats up, but i know shawn hates me, so i sit and do nothing...i want to help collin out cause he likes shawn as a freind, even though i hate shawn...
#2: last saturday, my friend Ken goes to the yugioh tournament with a new girlfriend(he got dumped sometime over the week), his new grilfriend is 9 years younger than he is, and he's only 22, so that makes her 13! we all(a group of us that all go to yugioh) werer talking and we all thought that there is too much of an age gap between the 2 and that it's wrong, but nobody will tell ken, and i don't know if i should. if i do he may get mad at me and never talk to me again, and right now i need friends...plus ken seems to be in a new relationship every few weeks, so i don't think it should last, but i don't think this relationship is legal in canada...
#3: yesterday i got so pissed off at my family cause they just got too annoying. the computer repitativly freezes(8 times IN A ROW to be exact) so i'm not really in a good mood and my mom comes in and says i was doing too much on the computer...i was surfing the net andlistening to the computer, our computer can handle that, then my sister comes up and says it's my dled music files and msn messanger thats doing it, so i got angrier and deleted all my music files and msn messanger, then my dad says it's my music program, so i delete that too, and then after all is said and done it turns out that it WASN"T my stuff it was the fact that windows XP sucks and you have to download some program from windows' website to stop the freezing, so i lost everything i do online cause windows sucks, and now i wish my whole family would drop dead, cause no matter what happens, I somehow the first suspect, even though if the police werre to suspect someone they would look at any record of me, and how i behave regularly and think that it would be impossible for me to even JAYWALK, but being the youngest, and the only boy i seem to be the worst person ever!
#4 my school friends hate me, they are open about it, they insult me and tell me they hate me everyday, and i can't just leave them cause i would be all alone in the huge school, although i think i'm just not gonna meet up with them...ever again that is...
#5 i have sunk into depression over the last week, and yesterday and today it's gotten worse to the point that i REALLY REALLY want to kill myself! i have never been this depressed before. I've always had a sight case of depression, ever since about grade 5, but in grade 10, it dwindled away, but it seems to have returned stronger than ever and i just don't think i can fight it anymore, nor do i have the will to fight it anymore...
can someone help me out here with any of my problems? i can't stand anything anymore, i fear i may do something stupid...again(i have attempted suicide before, and i know i'm capable of it...)