Inside me is a black tornado

[Zephyr of Darkness]

Yeah, I'm pretty much like that, with the exception of other people's happiness. I can just block it all out, but something's missing. I don't really want to fill it now though, because I haven't met anyone to do that or anything of the sort. I still have plenty of life left, so it's not as though I'm in a rush to find them or anything.

Well,good for you. But I've been hoping for this for 17 years, ever since I got in love for the first time. I know, it's irrational, I have plenty of other things to do. But I'm not that young anyway. Besides, I live in a crappy Third World where women have an expiring date at the age of 25, are plenty of sexist guys ,recognize only a stereotypical beauty, and a hundred more things against us. In brief, for Argentine men I'm getting old, I'm too feminist and I'm good looking but meh--not openly admitted.
So I don't wanna have this in this place anyway.I did find men that would make good candidates, but they were all married or else.

If you hate this guy, don't hang around him. Just stay away. He could just be setting you up to hurt you again.

Thanks for the advice, but how else could I get my revenge? Believe me, I'm keeping a close eye on him. And yeah, I am very vindictive (almost half of my blood is Italian, you know, vendettas, maffia, the Godfather)XD

it's always like that if you're not involved with someone who makes you happy that's how the brain is wired that's just it

Really? Is it a natural desire or it's just our fucking Occidental culture that keep telling us that if we don't have a love then we don't fulfill our destinies? I wonder.

No tornados, I've got a yellow side (symbolic of warmth and fear) and a blue side (symbolic of coolness and cursing). The yellow side is my creative side, the side that loves, feels, and usually ends up getting in my way because I've got very little to keep its massive and seemingly impossible desires satisfied. It's the side that wastes twenty minutes with a crying session every time I hear "Everlong" (the couples thing, what I can't seem to get). When the yellow side sees happy couples, it might just wish them luck. Then again, it might decide that it's time to return to the side that most people see, the blue side, the cool, wiseass, sarcastic, angry, punk/grunge/metal, super smart engineering student. When I go straight from yellow to blue without the green in between, that's when I'm at my angriest. That's when stuff gets kicked, punched, charged, and broken. As you might expect, a crying session is usually followed by a kicking session. I try to maintain the balance, green, my favorite color.

Yeah, I realized you don't like yellow things But well, good for ya. I can't seem to get any balance in my personality.
And, BTW, it would be good for you to not have a couple. Being so perfectionist and degrading others all the time, you run the risk of becoming a critic and annoying boyfriend/husband. And then blame the other person for being intolerant. Besides, you once told you were never in love. I do believe love is needed in a relationship. *sigh* I wish I was like you...I get in love all the fucking time.

I do seem to get blocked whenever I try to vent all this...fuck it. But it's strange that nobody else feels hurt like myself. I mean, it's unfair. I see lots of people that come out from a relationship and immediately enter another. Guess they put less conditions than me, but it still bugs me. I mean, it can't be SUCH bad luck that I have, to not be able to find anybody in so many years. And I sometimes see such ugly people that have such wonderful mates that adore them, that I can't blame anything but my luck. DAMN!!!!