08-21-2004, 10:29 AM
Well, the tornado is the strong wind with all my feelings mixed.
I'll tell you:
Today, I was having a normal b ut rather angry mood. I was in the Uni and I found a guy I hate cuz he treasoned me, but I still talk to him cuz he seems to be trying to do ammends. We began talking and in a moment he complained he had to go to a faraway place in this rainy and cold day. I asked why did he have to, and he aswered me that his girlfriend lives there. I don't like the guy, and my agenda is so fucking full that I can't even think of having a boyfriend, but whenever someone, like this fart, tells things about a mate, something like a black hole with a tornado inside me opens up. This tornado is made out of sadness, envy, anger, jealousy, pain, depression... among the feelings I can identify. I never had a boyfriend, though I had plenty of chances at high school, but I didn't like any of the guys that liked me. No matter how much my rational mind tells me:" Never mind about that...you have a career to finish, and you'd need to earn money, and polish your art skills, and have plenty of other profitable things to do", a place in my soul writhes in pain whenever sb brings this topic out. Like a wound you remember you have when you touch it. And I hate it. Why should that kind of love be necessary in your life? But this part of me won't submit to my strict logic, and torment me like this.
To finish: That fart ruined me the day. I walked away slowly in the rain, overcome by sadness. And as I write this, though the sadness slowly decreases, that hole is still there. And it only needs to be touched to hurt again...and again...and again.....
I'll tell you:
Today, I was having a normal b ut rather angry mood. I was in the Uni and I found a guy I hate cuz he treasoned me, but I still talk to him cuz he seems to be trying to do ammends. We began talking and in a moment he complained he had to go to a faraway place in this rainy and cold day. I asked why did he have to, and he aswered me that his girlfriend lives there. I don't like the guy, and my agenda is so fucking full that I can't even think of having a boyfriend, but whenever someone, like this fart, tells things about a mate, something like a black hole with a tornado inside me opens up. This tornado is made out of sadness, envy, anger, jealousy, pain, depression... among the feelings I can identify. I never had a boyfriend, though I had plenty of chances at high school, but I didn't like any of the guys that liked me. No matter how much my rational mind tells me:" Never mind about that...you have a career to finish, and you'd need to earn money, and polish your art skills, and have plenty of other profitable things to do", a place in my soul writhes in pain whenever sb brings this topic out. Like a wound you remember you have when you touch it. And I hate it. Why should that kind of love be necessary in your life? But this part of me won't submit to my strict logic, and torment me like this.
To finish: That fart ruined me the day. I walked away slowly in the rain, overcome by sadness. And as I write this, though the sadness slowly decreases, that hole is still there. And it only needs to be touched to hurt again...and again...and again.....