Feedback on my lemon?

[renamonfan]

thx for the comments! The reason for shortening the name at parts was really to avoid it being repetitive, I've noticed in some lemons that the name gets used way too much and it spoils the effect, but trying to keep away from repeating a characters name in such a concentrated scene is actually pretty hard :D

This lemon is really just an introduction to see if anyone likes the style of writing, I'm working on a storyline with Renara (will maybe finish two or three parts before submitting them), but this one was just a bit of harmless fun :)