12-08-2008, 03:29 PM
PP this is my advice. DO NOT room with Guy #2, but DO see where a relationship leads. Guy #1 is four hours away, not ready to commit to you, and clearly at a point where he is trying to decide where he will take his life. Date Guy #2, see where it goes, it may be great, it may end up not so great (which is why not becoming roommates is essential) but you can say you tried. You do not know if/when Guy #1 will be ready, maybe it will be a sudden suprise, maybe it will never be, don't stop your dating life on his indecision.
You love Guy #1, that's clear. But if you date Guy #2 and it works out and Guy #1 still hasn't made up his mind, you win. If you don't date Guy #2 and Guy #1 still hasn't made his mind up, you may have passed on something great. If Guy #1 decides he will meet your relationship terms, whether you are/are not with Guy #2, you can choose to be with Guy #1 or not.
Don't hide them from each other though. Tell Guy #1, you need a relationship (give him a few days to mull it over and weigh some parts of his life to see if he is willing to commit when you tell him that you are planning to start dating) and he isn't ready, you want to see if there are other sparks out there, but if you'll always be ready for him, let him know that. And be honest with Guy #2, tell him you're in love with Guy #1, but it's complicated and you are looking for a stable relationship. The worst thing you could do was hide Guy #1, and have Guy #2 find out.
It doesn't seem like Guy #1 is gonna be stimulating the love you want in your life, there's no harm in trying to see if something else will pan out if Guy #1 doesn't feel ready to commit to you. As long as you are honest with both, you don't have to be guilty about getting your cake and eating it too (as cheesy as it sounds).
You love Guy #1, that's clear. But if you date Guy #2 and it works out and Guy #1 still hasn't made up his mind, you win. If you don't date Guy #2 and Guy #1 still hasn't made his mind up, you may have passed on something great. If Guy #1 decides he will meet your relationship terms, whether you are/are not with Guy #2, you can choose to be with Guy #1 or not.
Don't hide them from each other though. Tell Guy #1, you need a relationship (give him a few days to mull it over and weigh some parts of his life to see if he is willing to commit when you tell him that you are planning to start dating) and he isn't ready, you want to see if there are other sparks out there, but if you'll always be ready for him, let him know that. And be honest with Guy #2, tell him you're in love with Guy #1, but it's complicated and you are looking for a stable relationship. The worst thing you could do was hide Guy #1, and have Guy #2 find out.
It doesn't seem like Guy #1 is gonna be stimulating the love you want in your life, there's no harm in trying to see if something else will pan out if Guy #1 doesn't feel ready to commit to you. As long as you are honest with both, you don't have to be guilty about getting your cake and eating it too (as cheesy as it sounds).
Believe in yourself! Not you who believe in me, not me, who believes in you.
Believe in you, who believes in yourself!
- Kamina of the Dai Gurren Brigade