Need your help tell me how this story is good so far.

[DragonMasterX]

You seriously need to work with grammar structuring. I'm no nazy, but I really like seeing aposthrophes when I see a short version of a phrase.

Ill see you at school.

I will, I shall, those two will turn into I'll. (Eww that rhymed)

I really start losing interest for a long read when I see mistakes like those, maybe you should try using the auto-correction function of Microsoft Word, since I can tell you're using that word processor for writing.