Things You Will Never Hear on "Digimon"... Version

[Wisemon]

that's pretty funny and possibly sadly ironic

Right, funny, but not funny "aha-ha-ha", nor funny "whoa-oh-oh", more like funny "uh-huh-huh".

Davis:angemon and angewomon? is there a angebabymon?
Patamon: maybe we're trying tonight.
TK: wha?
Patamon: oops.

I have the same episode in mind. Warning: Drinking while reading this may cause your beverage to come out of your nose.

From "Guardian Angel":

Kari*crying*: We all took a picture together.
Andromon*remembering*: A picture...faces...long ago...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Kari: Andromon? Andromon? What happened to Andromon?
Davis*holds up some loose cables*: While you had him distracted, I pulled these out of the back of his head. I saved you, and I didn't even need Veemon. So how about a thank you kiss?
Kari: You fucking moron, that was our friend!
Davis: So I can't even get a kiss? You let that cyborg put his giant thumb on your chest.
T.K.: You just don't get it. Seriously, can you do anything right, or do you just fuck up everything that you touch?
Davis*grabs T.K.'s shoulder firmly and glares menacingly into his eyes*: I'm about to do both.
T.K.*gulps, feels something warm, and looks down at his crotch*: Before you beat me up, will you let me change my pants? I just had an accident.
Davis: Absolutely, I want your blood, not your urine.
T.K.*holds up D-3 next to computer*: Digi-Port, open! So long, sucker! *He exits into the real world.*
Patamon: I don't think he's coming back.
Davis: You'd better hope that he does, because if he's not back in ten minutes, you're getting his beat-down.
Patamon: Yeah right, all I have to do is Digivolve and...oh shit.

Ten minutes later...

Davis: T.K. still hasn't shown up, but Patamon, I'm feeling generous. T.K. just abandoned you, at least for today, so how'd you like to be my alternate partner?
Patamon: Why do you want me as your partner?
Davis: Kari, you're fucking T.K., right?
Kari: Eventually, yes, I plan on doing that.
Davis: And there's no chance of you choosing me?
Kari: No chance in hell.
Davis: You see, Patamon, if I can't take T.K.'s girl, I'll take his partner.
Patamon: Okay, I'll be your partner.
Veemon*shakes Patamon's ear*: Welcome to the winning team.
Kari: The winning team of losers.