01-30-2007, 06:49 AM
Grammar - You need to correct this seriously, Altima. You push away people because of this....
Capitalisation - Believe it or not, you need this Altima. Always where it is needed. It isn't a 'can', it's a 'must' for a proper, and good lemon. Otherwise you're going to turn down viewers from the immediate beginning with bad grammar and capitalisation, no matter how good the start might be.
Plot - Pointless. It has no real plot besides the 'getting to the sex'. Work on that with later lemons.
Errors - Your grammer and capitalisation is one. But, 'trainers' is the incorrect word from the start, even for Season 1. The trainers are not trainers, they are Digidestined.
Lemon - The lemon scene is alright in length, but seriously, you're grammer and capitalization butchers it.
All in all, a 4 or possible 6 out of 10.
Capitalisation - Believe it or not, you need this Altima. Always where it is needed. It isn't a 'can', it's a 'must' for a proper, and good lemon. Otherwise you're going to turn down viewers from the immediate beginning with bad grammar and capitalisation, no matter how good the start might be.
Plot - Pointless. It has no real plot besides the 'getting to the sex'. Work on that with later lemons.
Errors - Your grammer and capitalisation is one. But, 'trainers' is the incorrect word from the start, even for Season 1. The trainers are not trainers, they are Digidestined.
Lemon - The lemon scene is alright in length, but seriously, you're grammer and capitalization butchers it.
All in all, a 4 or possible 6 out of 10.
