11-19-2003, 08:03 AM
I know what you're going through. Nothing is worse than having deeper feelings for someone that you're close to and not being able to do anything about them. Well, at least you've tried to do something about them, but I guess that leaves you in a bind. What now?
Well, I don't know. I can only say that I understand. I think I've gone on about this subject before, but for the longest time I had a huge crush on a friend of mine. I'd have gone anywhere with him or done anything for him that he could possibly want. Honestly. Since I last posted that rant, though, I've come to realize that he's not quite the person that I always understood him to be. He claims to take our friendship seriously, but face it: he's madly in love with his girlfriend, looks up to others as mentors and confidants, and has basically regulated me to the position of Nintendo buddy and rent-sharer... but now I'm digressing.
At least you came to understand yourself as being bi while in high school. I sort of wandered around like a robot, absolutely refusing to pursue things I was interested in, refusing to get to know people, refusing to get to know myself, and basically sheltering myself away in my room. Heck, I didn't even jerk off until I was 19, but I'm digressing again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know what it's like to be bi (or gay, whatever) and to not really be into all sorts of guys, but to just have a tremendously focused affection for just one. When that love isn't returned, it leaves you feeling stranded, unable to move forward, stuck where you are.
Do you know what he's looking for in a guy? Do you know what else he could possibly be looking for in a relationship?
I'd say more but I have to get off this computer now. Don't let it get you down though. You have so much more to experience, and soon this will all make more sense to you.
Well, I don't know. I can only say that I understand. I think I've gone on about this subject before, but for the longest time I had a huge crush on a friend of mine. I'd have gone anywhere with him or done anything for him that he could possibly want. Honestly. Since I last posted that rant, though, I've come to realize that he's not quite the person that I always understood him to be. He claims to take our friendship seriously, but face it: he's madly in love with his girlfriend, looks up to others as mentors and confidants, and has basically regulated me to the position of Nintendo buddy and rent-sharer... but now I'm digressing.
At least you came to understand yourself as being bi while in high school. I sort of wandered around like a robot, absolutely refusing to pursue things I was interested in, refusing to get to know people, refusing to get to know myself, and basically sheltering myself away in my room. Heck, I didn't even jerk off until I was 19, but I'm digressing again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know what it's like to be bi (or gay, whatever) and to not really be into all sorts of guys, but to just have a tremendously focused affection for just one. When that love isn't returned, it leaves you feeling stranded, unable to move forward, stuck where you are.
Do you know what he's looking for in a guy? Do you know what else he could possibly be looking for in a relationship?
I'd say more but I have to get off this computer now. Don't let it get you down though. You have so much more to experience, and soon this will all make more sense to you.