Article about... Godspeed, christian hentai!

[MISTER BIG T]

I was asked to do article about this SITE, wich is about christian gaming and gaming doing and all retardness. (http://www.breakthroughgaming.com/)

Yes, the site truly IS a breakthrough, but in another way the makers wanted it to be, I think.

Before I go to mock THEIR articles, I shall now quote directly from the site one thing.

Want to make a Game for God?
Check out some programs to get you started to make an awesome game for God!

I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!

There, much better.

The site has it all. Christian music, that's really no way diffrent than normal music, christian anime (????) and of course, christian games.

The question of who made God can be answered by simply looking at space and asking, "Does space have an end?" Obviously, it doesn't. If there is a brick wall with "The End" written on it, the question arises, "What is behind the brick wall?" Strain the mind though it may, we have to believe (have faith) that space has no beginning and no end. The same applies to God. He has no beginning and no end. He is eternal.

Wow! Now I do know that since there are walls around my room, there is a God and Jesus and four sacred virgins with holy boobies with nutrious holy milk in them!

Anyway, let us hear what these people think about one of the best game in human history, Super Smash Brothers Melee.

Genera:
Adventure

Wait, wasn't Genera the famous street hooker in 60's? Is that really a thing to be used in Christian site?

The review is all nice and dandy, untill they begin to be dumbnuts (kinda like hamnuts, but completely diffrent) by giving the CHRISTIAN MORALS.

This is a fighting game, so punching and kicking are present, but in a cartoony environment.

How observant of you sire!

The battles have no blood, but sometimes girls have to hit guys and vice-versa.

Mario: "Suck on my penis!" Peach: "NOO!" Mario: "Then I shall beat you and take you from behind! Forcefully!"

Other than that, there is a lottery mode where you have to gamble coins you have to get trophies.

Well, theoretically, you don't have to gamble at all, you can find trophies laying on ground too. But we do not know where they have been.

Link and Zelda are in the game, and both of them are in "magical games", Ness uses psychic (PSI) powers, and Pikachu is a Pokemon, and the Pokemon has a lot of anti-Christian morals.

That's the most retardest thing I have ever read! Teehee!

There is a dependence of magic/psychic powers on a lot of the characters, through.

NO, really? Wow, never saw that coming!

The review of this game also has link to their idea about digimon and pokemon being EVIL and FOUL creatures of DARKNESS.

The show is giving the message that wizards are your friends, NOT!

Wizards are denile creatures. They only attack you if angered or threatened.

There was talk about the mythical gods who were in Japan and then the new character "Ken" talked about the new evil Digimon using "dark/black magic". All magic is bad!

YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! SHUT UP!

This is sort of wierd and it gives the message that demons and devils are innocent. WRONG!

Demons are erotic, misunderstood race who are actually affraid of dark and like to go to spirtism confrences every friday. (For slow, Friday was day people were hanged in medieval times)

One of the last things they say is that the "darkness will never go away". This is wrong because when Jesus returns there will be no darkness anymore!

Jesus returns? Wow, that must be one hella good digimon episode. JESUSMON, HOLY TYPE ATTACK CROSS THROW I can already see it as new movie material. "He is back! Not even cross can stop him this time!"

Psychic, Ghost, and Dark type Pokemon are the real questionable part of the show.

Moral, values and good taste are the real questionable parts in your sanity.

Each of these type Pokemon do evil things like do curses, make nightmares, hypnotise, and even shoot psychic beams at other Pokemon.

Oh no! Not psychic beams!

A few people Ash and his friends encountered, were psychics!

The horror!

Another point is Team Rocket. Whenever they introduce themselves, most of the time their clothes are switched (ie. James wears a dress and Jessie wears a men-style suit).

James is a queer and Jessie is a anime girl, so they both have motives to do so.

The movie was cool looking, but of course, Mew and Mewtwo were psychic Pokemon.

GASP!

"Pokemon 3", has one of the feature titled "Spell of the Unown". That one just explains itself.

Not really. Does somewhere on bible say you can't make typos into names? Wow, must have missed that one while reading it.

In the other show, we have a boy wanting to become a Pokemon Master. Nice enough goal, but what is he doing to get there?

Being "master" of retarded creatures only able to repeat their own name in diffrent ways, is not what I would call a nice goal.

I know most would never try to be psychic, hangout with demons and want to be evil, so why look at it?

That is EXACTLY what I'd love to do. Move things just by thinking so, have a Succubus be my sex slave and then spam some forums with "Me likes happy peepsie! ^_^Waii!" with posts like "I have my peepsie here, you wais." Oh wait, the last one wouldn't actually be so evil. Well, pinching holes into condoms with hair pin! Aha! Evil! Eeevil...

I don't want to go through all these changes just to be entertained.

You are right. You could just look in the mirror. Same effect.

Also, everysingle game they say is good is what anyone over age of 5 and without braindamage will get bored after 5 minutes. But you know what's evil? MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND MAGIC FLOWERS IN MARIO!

Well, if the mushrooms would be LSD and flowers Marihuana, but...


I could go on and on and on and on and on and *gets slapped* But I won't. Let's just say, the site makes me feel ashamed to say that I'm a christian. Also, check out the christian anime!

[image]http://www.breakthroughgaming.com/anime/superbook1.jpg[/image]

Any anime with THAT THING NEXT TO BOY AND GIRL, can't be good for childrens mental health. Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna go and post this to their forums and include "Yes, you are right. I'm a goth. I worship satan. He gives me powers everyday." to the end.