07-24-2003, 03:38 PM
Very few topics on the message boards I go to nowadays interest me enough to post in them but this one, along with few others, I will post in to share my thoughts on.
Hindsight being 20/20 my fantasy life my mind makes for me consists of myself making different descisions, having more self-confidence and having a better, happier life, while not perfect I cant help but wonder these what if questions I ask myself all the time, I don't do it anymore since I'm more mature to try to make the best descisions, but I still think about it and dream this life in bed.
I was an extremely immature person emotionally, my emotional maturity lagged behind my physical maturity greatly and I acted like a kindergartner until middle school and like a small child until late middle school and I now surpassed my peers in the capacity a few years ago. I threw terrible fits and almost got expelled a few times. My guidence counselors mistook this for retardation and I was subjected to the humiliation of resource classes until high school.
Now that I'm graduated and looking forward to college in september I look back and all I ever wish for is a bit more maturity, a bit more self confidence, and making different choices. I often picture myself with a job I took over a year ago rather than turned down instead of a hellish convience store job in which I got fired from, with my first car rather than having to suffer with a pice of shit Cavilier before my Intrepid was bought. With a steady gf or two instead of having relationships which barely lasted a week, maybe even had gotten laid perhaps.
I know I can't change the past, but knowing what could have happened puts things in perspective, especially if something bad happened and know it could have been worse. Now that I'm a mature adult (Maybe, I'm 18) I know I can make the desicsions I think are best with clarity and confidence.
Hindsight being 20/20 my fantasy life my mind makes for me consists of myself making different descisions, having more self-confidence and having a better, happier life, while not perfect I cant help but wonder these what if questions I ask myself all the time, I don't do it anymore since I'm more mature to try to make the best descisions, but I still think about it and dream this life in bed.
I was an extremely immature person emotionally, my emotional maturity lagged behind my physical maturity greatly and I acted like a kindergartner until middle school and like a small child until late middle school and I now surpassed my peers in the capacity a few years ago. I threw terrible fits and almost got expelled a few times. My guidence counselors mistook this for retardation and I was subjected to the humiliation of resource classes until high school.
Now that I'm graduated and looking forward to college in september I look back and all I ever wish for is a bit more maturity, a bit more self confidence, and making different choices. I often picture myself with a job I took over a year ago rather than turned down instead of a hellish convience store job in which I got fired from, with my first car rather than having to suffer with a pice of shit Cavilier before my Intrepid was bought. With a steady gf or two instead of having relationships which barely lasted a week, maybe even had gotten laid perhaps.
I know I can't change the past, but knowing what could have happened puts things in perspective, especially if something bad happened and know it could have been worse. Now that I'm a mature adult (Maybe, I'm 18) I know I can make the desicsions I think are best with clarity and confidence.