07-04-2003, 11:08 AM
That was really good. But a small tip... You should use more contractions. (I am/I'm, ect.) And a few words were misspelled, but other than that, great lemon. When's the second part coming?
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Im a new author
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Im a new author - by godofdispare - 07-03-2003, 05:24 PM
[No subject] - by Darkmole - 07-04-2003, 11:08 AM
[No subject] - by godofdispare - 07-04-2003, 03:50 PM
[No subject] - by Waru_the_Magnificent - 07-05-2003, 01:10 AM
[No subject] - by MISTER BIG T - 07-05-2003, 10:17 PM
[No subject] - by godofdispare - 07-06-2003, 02:58 PM
[No subject] - by MISTER BIG T - 07-07-2003, 12:05 AM
[No subject] - by godofdispare - 07-08-2003, 03:46 PM
[No subject] - by MISTER BIG T - 07-09-2003, 03:52 AM
[No subject] - by godofdispare - 07-12-2003, 02:52 PM
[No subject] - by Faith_and_Destiny - 07-12-2003, 07:46 PM
[No subject] - by godofdispare - 07-13-2003, 02:23 PM
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