Original poem: Visiting the Rural Society

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

unfortunately ......no sorry..... you have to ask him....

[UnknownH]

Is a poem... supposed to be "romantric"?

-'Cuz I don't know anything about poems.

They can be but there's another meaning to this I think.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

Okay!

And NO Blitzy, You cannot see my poems. They are private.

[The Anti Wisemon]

Is that so unclear?

No, but can you explain this:

Cows on a spree in a Jaguar
Cause you'll take their place

How about this:

I gave you a lottery ticket
And told you that in the 'Cap' stand
A female would give you a cookie

I saw you sitting on a pipe
You tripped on a bull turd

How can somebody trip on a bull turd while sitting on a pipe. What's the "pipe" supposed to be?

Thank you for verifying that there was no deeper meaning here, no extended metaphors. If, as you say, this is just a story, I believe it is more suited to prose, though it's not a very interesting story.

First: mix of words. The girl was fat.
Second: two unrelated things.
Third: should have added 'and when you stood up' but it would be too long.
Fourth: next time I'll try finding a more interesting story. Like a girl I try to pick up and I can't, or a girl that likes me I don't like back.

[Herr Mullen]

First: mix of words. The girl was fat.
Second: two unrelated things.
Third: should have added 'and when you stood up' but it would be too long.
Fourth: next time I'll try finding a more interesting story. Like a girl I try to pick up and I can't, or a girl that likes me I don't like back.

That is really bad. If you want to tell a story like this, go into prose. Your poems don't sound or feel good; they're just boring. No hidden meanings. Everyone is asking "What is this poem about? Is there some vauge reference to war in there? Is that a joke on romance?" You reply "No, the girl was fat." Poetry is not for you, my dear fellow, don't try it.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

Yes... it's so much less confusing that way.

[The Anti Wisemon]

These days I've been trying to write better poems, and I got one really good. But I am following Wisemon's example and I will save it to submit it to a place where I will get paid for it.
You don't believe me? I can write really romantic things too.
For example, "O Wisemon, heavy weight of the Digiartists Domain poetry, with hair and eyes the color of those tan M&Ms nobody wants to eat..."

[Herr Mullen]

M and Ms all taste the same to me. Ever had Smarties? Those are good; they're like M and Ms, but with a larger volume and surface area. Their old tubes were traditional Blue Peter building tools. But what I really, really miss are Nerdz. Those were fantastic.

[Wisemon]

My hair and eyes aren't tan, there's nothing wrong with tan M&M's, and if you're going to say "the color of," you don't need to say "tan."

[UnknownH]

Oh come on. That wasn't even close to funny or trying.
And they got rid of those years ago.