That's what the main man say

[Wisemon]

"The cable guy gets all excited when you tell him that you want to change your service, but he suddenly gets depressed when you tell him you want to downgrade and you're looking forward to cable choice laws."

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

Manager: What were you screaming about?
Me: I wasn't screaming. That was a grunt. If I were screaming, I would've been a lot louder.

[Wisemon]

"How sadistic is my boss? This morning, he came into the office unusually cheerful, especially for a Monday. While signing some papers, he asked the secretary for the date. 'That's right, the eleventh.'"

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"Do I really have to tell the 13-year-old girl visiting our office not to download porn? I'll just tell her not to download Spyware, but I'll say "Spyware" in a really dirty way."

[Wisemon]

Quality manager: You can correct an engineering order with ball-point or fountain pens, but you are not allowed to use whiteout, pencils, or thick-tipped markers.
Me: What about crayons?

[Wisemon]

Me: I woke up and it was really dark out, so dark that I thought it was night, so I took my night pills instead of my morning pills.
Secretary: Uh-oh, what's that going to mean for today?
Me: It means my stools will be extra soft.

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

General manager: Take that coat off!
Me: But it's cold in here.
General manager: But you look weird.
Me: But I always look weird.
General manager: Okay, you win.

[Wisemon]

I caught the mail clerk at my apartment complex filling up the open mailboxes. He was mostly filling them with junk mail: restaurant coupons, insurance change promotions, bank change promotions, various other promotions.
Me: Is there any way to avoid getting all this junk mail?
Mail clerk: No, there's no way to avoid it. Well, you could get a P.O. box, but then you'd have to pay extra for it, and you'd have to go to it. *He continues to stuff junk mail in people's mailboxes, not caring that the garbage can next to him is overflowing with junk mail.*
Me: You got to do what you got to do.

[Wisemon]

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"Nothing scares away a Jehovah's witness like a family of atheists."

[Wisemon]