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Problems...
#1
i'm having problems with my story, it starts off with the introductory and then picks up from there. but that's not the problem, it is this: the plot is twisted the wrong way. the series that would explain this was different, so now i need a plan for a cross-over.

any suggestions will be considered... the series can be found under 'After the D-Reaper' which is currently on hold untill the next update.

the second series('Return to the Past'*which is under construction for part 2, and is on hold*) is connected to another 'The D-Reaper Returns' which is forshadowed by series 2 and won't be revealed until it is over.
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#2
No, your problem is that you're taking the Tamers way out of character. Did you even bother to research Henry and Rika's personalities? Neither of them are the prone to getting drunk type.
[Image: AppealtoReason.jpg]
"I looked up and saw you;
I know that you saw me.
We froze but for a moment
In empathy."-Rise Against
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#3
yeah, i fgured as much... but i'm the person that likes to bring the complete opposites out of people. and besides it is a few years after the D-Reaper incident so things can change, they could've had a few drinks every now and then.
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#4
fred_18 Wrote:yeah, i fgured as much... but i'm the person that likes to bring the complete opposites out of people. and besides it is a few years after the D-Reaper incident so things can change, they could've had a few drinks every now and then.

You'd have to show how that works. You can't just say "...And Takato became a drug addict" without saying why, and how, not jusy fob the reader of with "I like to show people's opposites", becuase that translates to "You aren't really reading about the characters you want to read about."
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#5
well, it's the update that will bring the truths out, which still has yet to come out. also it will continue to unravel as the series continues.
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#6
I reviewed your new series in my review thread. Take a look if you have a chance. It's not all bad.
[Image: AppealtoReason.jpg]
"I looked up and saw you;
I know that you saw me.
We froze but for a moment
In empathy."-Rise Against
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#7
(scratching hair and smiling nervously)well thanks, I'll be sure to include characterization next time.The series you reveiwed was supposed to be for the first but got screwed over,so now i have to go back to the drawing board. its the other series 'After the D-Reaper' that needs a new series. the begining may be a cliche, but the rest is going to be different. as for Rika ordering wine, Part two for 'to the digital world' has it all layed out for what happened and how it happened.

Major thanks for pointing that out though wisemon, I could use some corrections. it would be a while for the stories to come in, reason is family, and summer school. this may be the only time until next monday and then some. mostly at night.
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