Hello 2009!

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Wolfe, you want to a tiesto concert?! How was the bass?

Wisemon as to be expected you would mention some songs by Rise Against and Offspring. Not surprised with a song by Shinedown on your last list.


All good, and its going to be New Years in 2 hours for me so those in England, and to the right of the world hope you have a good one. ^^

[Crim]

I'm going get back to living the contract I wrote for myself two Novembers ago and believing in the creed I ranted out on MySpace last June. Sounds crazy but, as for me, makes a whole lotta sense.

[Wisemon]

I'm going get back to living the contract I wrote for myself two Novembers ago and believing in the creed I ranted out on MySpace last June. Sounds crazy but, as for me, makes a whole lotta sense.

And what would the contract and creed be?

[Crim]

Why did it have to be YOU that asked? I can't deny YOU!

My contract asks me to be more pious, puts me on a building plan to be more holy (not -lier than thou, but you know), tries to pinpoint problem areas that cause dissent in my household and how to alleviate the tension, reinforces that I need to keep my schoolwork second and my extracurriculars third (key word: EXTRA), stop trying to make myself believe that there's time to come back to important stuff when my grades and reputation have nosedived to the point I can't have any peace.... anywhere, and finally a checklist that let's me remember who I represent and that I do them the justice they so richly deserve. My God, my Self, and my Blood.

Now, the Creed..... as I said was a rant on MySpace, so I must warn you now that it WILL be angry, yet eloquent. yet ig'nant. I just can't turn it off, lol. Now it might help if I could build you up to the point that made me sit down and type this (then edit it around 7 times), but It's too much to just go off on memory. And crazy me, any question, please feel FREEEEE to ask, because I do better under interrogation lights, and the question will give me room to maneuver and tell it right.

Actually, now that I glance over it, it started off more a "Woe is me" and then my ass got combative, that's FUNNY! You see clean contradictions in character, I think you'll be able to see where and when the shifts happened, and as a matter of fact, It's time for a part two, but I won't burden y'all with that (yet)

That new creed: Metamorphosis: Shedding the Shit Off

Things have changed. Lots of things have changed.

Jesus has changed me. I like to think that anyway. I like to say that He moves beside, around, and in me. He holds me up as I hold up others. Stuff around me that should have gotten to me, is blocked. Something is in me fighting off what could be depression... suicide... hatred... wrath... destruction.

My house has changed. Turbulently. In family, there seems to be no place for me. A trend I've been following for years has finally seeped into my house. Always a constant struggle. A constant search for peace and balance... love. But the love is supposed to be there. Is supposedly there. Jealousy rising up from a place to a place both unknown. But, it shouldn't be that way. House is built on lies, you could say. Nothing is quite right here. The escape isn't effective either. And God don't put us in a vehicle for a long distance. True. Colors. Broken images and mindsets. Yet retaining a purpose to be served. And then there's my room. "Not my room." The abyss of a thing where I hoard what I care to remember of my life. A mess, a true indicator of its inhabitant.

School. ...the hell am I doing there? (sigh) I've yet to find a place to belong. ROTC, ain't happen. Choir, might happen. Seems I'll have to go solo on them boys. Theatre, not wanted? Too bad, they're stuck for a year. Another place to prove that I'm worth it... Shouldn't have to prove it, I should exude it. Not to mention what I'm STILL having to put down. Gay. HA! Kids are evil. But they get it from their parents, believe it or not. Genetics is a bitch. School used to be my sh*t. But, now... not so much. And college scares the hell out of me. 18 scares the hell out of me. Prom scares the hell out of me. Senior year scares the hell out of me. JUNIOR year scares the hell out of me because the negroes that just left were the only ones holding the place together. Gosh, we're screwed.

I'm screwed. Up. My speech is wordy, I talk too much/loudly. Actually, no. I don't. That's the damn limitations Y'ALL have placed on me. I speak WELL. My vocabulary is off the charts. My voice is booming because y'all don't listen when I say it. Maybe the echoes will set you straight. I sing like Barry White's angel. I'm moving in that endeavor right now, and none of you know. Why? Cause you don't give a damn. (not everybody) I can act. My drama is of a sophisticated type that is sought after and awarded. I can't dance, but that shit y'all do now ain't dancing. Yeah, I said it, I'll say it again. My face is shot to hell. My hair, God rest it. My skin, I'm THREE toned. I'm tall for nothing. Scratch THAT! Where the HELL does it say "Tall equals Sports"? Hell to the naw! Damn it, let me be smart. There's an economy for smart people shit. My teeth need Jesus. My ribs are visible. I'm flawed, I get it. But, where's the good? How deep must I search? Wait, found some more crap. Niggas think I'm gay, ladies find me friendly. My wardrobe makes ME cry sometimes. There's no being a good kid, only a nigga who fucks around, fucks up, then fucks off. Let's figure this out now. I'm a DAMN good Negro. I'm a bad mother- Shut yo' mouth! Deadly handsome. I don't need NOBODY'S validation. I don't fit your mold? Fuck off, don't need you. Group mentality, to hell with it. I've had it with making myself vulnerable to people to have them straight cut you and leave you for dead. Only group I need is me. I knew I had it right talking to myself, because myself don't judge. Myself don't hate. Myself lifts me up, makes me laugh, and loves me for WHOEVER the fuck I am. Even when we both don't know...

Speaking of girls, I remember the first. There was a fire about her. Special, different, worth something. I plunged in after it having no prior experience or knowledge and fell on my face. Continued after and had no choice but to back off. Grew some and grew together... some. There's a comradery there now... I think. But, while I'm thinking, all the crap I've heard, seen and witnessed, I still was willing to work that out. I'm a good man. A DAMN good man, and her fault for missing out. Hell, witch has problems. And now that I'm DONE, witch is ugly. Spell has worn off. I see clear thru. I'll tolerate her none the less cause there will always be a spot in my heart for her, but it took one exhibition to finally just show me the truth. She ain't with it, and I've no time to give the seminar. And since WHEN is it weak to not cuss nobody? Why the hell I just GOT to be hard or something? I got to be rough with you? I can't just appreciate you softly? I got to be yelling in your face and calling you a bitch? That's the same Negro you claim "steps to you and you gon step back" You ain't fooling nobody when they slam yo' ass into a wall a couple of times. Good man. I give a damn. I ain't LIKE everybody else. See what happens to Negroes that need to be hard? They NEED to be in jail cause they ass jumped stupid with the wrong one, being yet ANOTHER black statistic.

(that last part was the whole reason I wrote this, but I'm rolling now so, been rolling for the last 6 edits)

Edit 6: And what the FUCK is wrong with a happy Negro? Something's wrong with me because I don't mope around? Because I don't have a problem with the rest of the world? Something's wrong with me because I enjoy having the joy that Jesus gives? Because I might skip from time to time? Because a smile is always on my face? Because my body language is positive? FUCK that! I'm happy and will continue to be as such. WHy should I have to sacrifice my true self to make y'all nigga feel superior? Hell naw. Deal with it.

Am I so wrong for having a higher standard? Because I don't a ho? Because I don't want to end up another black statistic? Because I don't associate with a type of person? I love everybody, but hell, you wrong, you wrong. (doesn't make sense)

I question myself. All the time. I argues. For extended periods of time. My sanity is slim to nil, but I hold up. There's so much storm and controversy. Outside and in. I'm lost. Clearly lost. Back to groups. There's no one left. Including the folk I thought would ALWAYS stick it out... they didn't make it. My people. the last six years of my life, and they didn't make it. Truth: wasn't welcome there either.

And another thing, folk finna get cut out and cut off. All the extra I'm approached with, done with it. The blatant attempts to get in me, over. Read a sign that said, "Holding a grudge is letting somebody have room in your soul rent free." And as for me and mine, ha HA, hell no! It's time to be about self. But, let us not be worried. If something goes down, I'll be there. Always. That's just who I am, no matter how much I change now, that's just in me. Why? Cause I'm a motherfucking good person! (y'all ain't see that coming. Why? Cause y'all ain't paying attention. Y'all will learn) But the drama, if it ain't mine or in a script, no time. These triangles and pentagons and shit, ain't no mo'! Just mashed potatoes and co'n.

Time out for games. Time out for pleasing other folk. Time to grow. Time to change. Time for isolation. Time for the cocoon.

Metamorphosis: Leave me the hell alone cause I'm a motherfucking work in progress. (maybe He'll work that out to. and I ain't gon lie. God gots WORK to do. Breaking and remaking. Hmph. I'll see y'all on the other side.)

[tigerlily]

I went to the most perverted sin city....
Yep Las Vegas.
Yea I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallyyyy dislike Las Vegas.
1. Cheaters.
2. You easily get taken advantage from drinking.
3. Showing off chests especially AROUND CHILDREN O.o;;;
4. Smokers.<-*I'm kindna allergic to smoke*
I'm not going to say gambling is bad, but it is bad considering you lose and win is a 50/50 chance.

THE FOOD is great but I throw up twice...blach.....but the Mandalan*sorry spelling* bay buffet is AWESOME. The pumpkin pie....oh...man so delicious ;_; and I had sushi~<3 and I forgot to add I watched the Blue Man group. ;D I even have a picture to show it off but not now lmao.

[The Big Bad Rav]

O.O I WANNA WATCH THE BLUE MAN GROUP!! I love 'em! Damn it Tigerlily!!! Why didn't you bring me?...lol

[tigerlily]

O.O I WANNA WATCH THE BLUE MAN GROUP!! I love 'em! Damn it Tigerlily!!! Why didn't you bring me?...lol

Um there were 5 people together and it costed like 350 bucks altogether. xD So that's like what-70 bucks for each people.

[Zephyr of Darkness]

Uh, let me see...
2008:
-Survived (hey, for me it's a big step ahead).
-Got a job (a crappy one, but better than nothing).
-Learned lots, lots of things from many fields of knowledge. I can say it's my biggest accomplishment of the year. Then again, rich people gets richer, right?
-Made some online bussiness.
-Decided I was quitting online businesses.
-Made up my mind in love bussinesses.
-Bought quality art materials. And a real accomplishment at the smart way I could get expensive things cheaper.
-Started decluttering my room (yes, one of the many things I studied is Feng Shui!)
-Got stronger in mind and body.

For 2009:
-Secret.
-Secret.
-Secret.
-Eat more icecream.