Failed attempts at living simple lives are what keep me coming back to you

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

At the 32nd second on that rift, is there a way to add like a doo dah dah melody going lower? go lower instead of steadying constant will add to the punkish vibe that you have going in your song. I wish I could explain better. But for Wisemon's voice it would actually fit it perfectly. Very nice. Reminds me of a hybrid between Offspring and some SR-71.

[Wisemon]

At the 32nd second on that rift, is there a way to add like a doo dah dah melody going lower? go lower instead of steadying constant will add to the punkish vibe that you have going in your song. I wish I could explain better. But for Wisemon's voice it would actually fit it perfectly. Very nice. Reminds me of a hybrid between Offspring and some SR-71.

I feel very humbled by this knowledge and skill I do not possess.

Ghost Op, I honestly believed your backstory, but nothing to be ashamed about being an average teenager; that's enviable as well. You could've started your own thread for that, but hey, more people in this thread now.

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

I feel very humbled by this knowledge and skill I do not possess.

*Blushes* It's alright, just want to help. If I had a guitar still that my parents didn't sell then I would have done a lil doodad hoping it would provide something more to my words. As always am just trying to help and I could do that to most of your pieces as well as any Production that needs to be tweaked. Just all in all its a great rift by him and it reminds me of Offspring and SR-71 (Both great bands to those that haven't heard either).

If you need anything else I will keep a look out and try to assist any way I can.

[Crim]

My Lord, I doth believe it's time to propose the DaD band.

With you at the glorious helm, always.

[UnknownH]

Actually, I thought that if I played Rock band with friends, Wise would be the singer. I might get the Drums.

[Wisemon]

Actually, I thought that if I played Rock band with friends, Wise would be the singer. I might get the Drums.

Sorry, not a fan of those sorts of games, not my thing.

I'm going to post the next one. Here's the minute-long anthem, Drainplug:

Drainplug (Vocal Edit) - Benjamin Wiseman

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Need some tea wise? *Smirks*

As always very interesting lyrics even though for a minute anthem it is actually pretty alright but compared to your last one this lacks the necessary melody that drums your words. Like a melody of "Come out and Play" by the Offspring mixed with "Date Rape" by Sublime. It is a fast pace lyric lines and there are two points where you should try to double up your tempo cause in your attempt you seem to have lost your place. Other then those two times, this is really not bad. ^^

[Wisemon]

It is a fast pace lyric lines and there are two points where you should try to double up your tempo cause in your attempt you seem to have lost your place. Other then those two times, this is really not bad. ^^

Thanks, which two points? This is the easiest one for me to adjust.

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

It is a fast pace lyric lines and there are two points where you should try to double up your tempo cause in your attempt you seem to have lost your place. Other then those two times, this is really not bad. ^^

Thanks, which two points? This is the easiest one for me to adjust.

What sounds like the follow up to the mini chorus's the first two seem to be out of any pentameter and the last one is fine because its gives its concussive edge to the ending and makes for a better point to the piece.
"I don't have to drown in your waste."

"I don't have to browze all you like."

"I don't have to boy to your fix."

Double time the first time or even faster then that into your mini chorus's....

Hope that is insightful.

[Wisemon]

out of any pentameter and the last one is fine because its gives its concussive edge to the ending and makes for a better point to the piece.

Pentameter? As I understand it, in poetry terms, pentameter is five sets of soft and strong stresses. Those lines are only four sets. If you're wondering about the little pause in the middle of those lines, it's to transition from the narrative verse to the imperative chorus in mid-sentence. Here's where I got the idea for the structure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5F-xHX1PDE

I don't have to boy to your fix.

It's "I don't have to bow to your fix." The fifth word of each of those three lines has an "ow" sound to align with the "now" at the end.