"Why so serious?"

[Ghostiemon]

Read the first line.

[Guilmon and a shotgun]

"This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!" I think that answers your question

Why is sun lotion so hard to find in Greece?

Because it's so bloody hot there...what did you think i was going to say?

[Frisk E. Coyote]

An older guy goes to the doctor's office to ask about a prescription for Viagra.

He's in the waiting room when the woman at the reception desk calls his name and says, for everyone to here, "Mr. Frazier. You're here to see the doctor about your impotence, right?"

The guy was mortified.

"No," he says, just as loudly, "I'm looking to get a sex change operation, and I was hoping to get the same doctor who did yours."

[Bee]

That was a good one, Ray.

A man and his buddy went hunting one day. The first guy turned to his buddy, and said,

"Whatever happens, be quiet. We don't need you scaring away the deer."

With a nod from his buddy, they begin the hunt. Just as the man lines up a shot on a perfect 10-point buck, he hears his friend emit a blood-curtling scream, scaring the deer away.

Pissed off, the man walks up to his buddy, which is beaten, bruised, bloody, and clutching his balls.

"WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!" he shouted, "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP QUIET?!"

"I did keep quiet." The friend retorted, "I kept quiet when I stepped on the rattlesnake and he bit me. I kept quiet when I walked into the grizzly bear that mauled me half to death."

Suprised, the man asked, "if you kept quiet through all of that, why did you scream?"

"Well, I kept quiet when two squirrels crawled up my pantleg. I heard one say to the other, "wanna take 'em back to the nest, or eat them here?", and that's when I screamed."

[Frisk E. Coyote]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[Bee]

Okay, this one's a little sexist. So don't read it if you're easily offended.

***

Why did God give women orgasms?

So they could have something else to moan about.

***
WARNING: RACIST JOKES AHEAD. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, DO NOT READ FURTHER
***

How do you get 100 *african americans* in a Volkswagen Beetle?

Throw in a bucket of fried chicken

How do you get them out?

Throw in a Job Application

What do you get when you cross a *Asian* with a *Mexican*?

A Car thief that can't drive.

How do you Blind a *Asian*?

Put a windshield in front of them

[Chaotic Phoenix]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

I have the video that has that, that was funny lol

Ok, I'll try one...

A Gatomon walks down the street. A Veemon stops to talk with her. Exactly 30 seconds later he gets slapped down hard and the Gatomon trots off enraged. A Patamon that saw the attack rushed to the Veemon.

"What happened?!" The Patamon asked the Veemon.

The Veemon looked at the Patamon and said...

"It was expected... I pissed off a pussy for being a dick."

[Guilmon and a shotgun]

What goes ninty nine bonk ninty nine bonk? a centipede with a wooden leg.

whats green hairy and goes up and down? a gooseberry in a lift.

how does bob marley like his donuts? wi-jam in it

[Bee]

Two muffins are sitting in a tin in the oven, when one turns to the other and says, "gee, it sure is hot in here!" the other one replies, "HOLY SHIT, A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Banana.

[Guilmon and a shotgun]

What do you call a Guilmon with a brain? Gifted.