Joke time!

[The Infamous Boss Reo]

On Sunday, there's this group of Jewish women that go to have brunch at their local restaurant. About halfway through their meal, the waiter comes up and asks, "Is anything okay?"

[Sabre of Pain]

there was a canadian an american and a hindu on top of a 40 story building. the american said "this air current rising up is so strong i bet you could jump off the building and come right back" the hindu said "yeah right, i'll let you try first then" the american said "ok" and jumped off, a few seconds later he flew back onto the roof of the building "holy fuck" said the hindu "let me try!" and jumped off the building, he then fell to his death. the canadian then said "you have a sick sense of humor superman"

[The Infamous Boss Reo]

One day this kid was playing in the hallway of his apartment when he looks into his mom's room. he ses her laying on her bed, completely naked, touching herself. While she's doing this, she keeps saying "I need a man, oh god, I need a man.."

The next day, the kid was playing in the hallway again, when he looks back into his mother's room. He sees her once more, on the bed, stark naked, but with this time a guy on top of her, fucking her brains out. The kid rushes over to his room and locks the door. he strips naked, hops on his bed and starts beating off like mad while saying, "I need a bike, I need a bike, I need a fucking bike..."

[Kalyx]

It was a young man's wedding day and he was nervous about the upcoming wedding night. He had no experience of sex and consulted his father before the wedding ceremony.

"Look, son...", the father explained, "it's not that difficult and should come pretty natural, for the both of you. You just take your hardest possession...and put in inside the place she pees."

Still looking a bit nervous, the young groom replied, "OK, Dad."

After the wedding ceremony and reception, the young bride and groom retreated to a fancy and expensive hotel, to begin their honeymoon.

Suddenly, and without warning, a scream was heard and the young bride bolted from the Honeymoon Suite, ran down the corridor and called her mother on her cell phone, from the far end of the hallway.

"Mom! Mom! Yes, it's me! I don't know what's going on with Frank! I took off my clothes...you know....to get ready for bed! Then he...he took out his bowling ball and threw it in the toilet!"

[Colt]

A redneck gets shot.

At the police station,Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousin shot him.

"Well,"Bubba began,"we waz havin' a good time drinking,when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said," "Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?"

"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.

"From what i remeber," Bubba said, "I stood up and said," "Sure, I'm game."

bob bop cha

[Sabre of Pain]

there was a blonde, a brunet and a redhead stranded on an island "we need to get off of this island" said the brunet and the others agreed so the brunet swam 1/4 of the way to land got tired and swam back .the redhead swam 3/4 of the way there and died. then the blonde said "ok its my turn" she then swam 1/2 of the way there but got tired and swam back

PHP Code:

http://www.a1freesoundeffects.com/freesounds5/jokedrum.wav 


i had to put it in PHP code or it wouldn't show the whole thing. the website im showing doesn't allow external links or something like that

[Niyara]

Alright.. Lets see if I can remember this one right..


There was a Catholic, a baptist, and a mormon priest, they were all friends, and they went fishing together. One day when they were done fishing, they got back in the boat and started to move away from the spot they had been fishing, when the Catholic priest looks over and says. "Whoops! forgot my cooler." So he stands up, walks across the water, picks up the cooler and walks back to the boat.

As they are about to start moving again, the baptist glances over and says. "Whoops! Forgot my jacket!" So he gets up, walks across the water, gets his jacket, and walks back to the boat.

By now the mormon is thinking to himself. "How are they doing that? Well.. if these heathens can do it, I should have no problems." So, he stands up after realizing he forgot his pole, takes a step out of the boat, and plunges into the water. Frustrated and confused, he climbs back into the boat and tries again with the same result.

After threee or four tries, he decides to just swim back over and get his pole, while he is gone the Catholic looks to the baptist and says. "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"

[MISTER BIG T]

A man works to build a sky scrapper. As he goes all the way to top, he realizes he had forgotten to take his hand saw with him. He notices his friend down and starts yelling and making back and forth movements with his hand.

The guy stares at him, and all of a sudden pulls his pants down and starts masturbating.

The man at top sees this and immediately comes down "What are you doing? I was asking you to bring HAND SAW!!"

The friend blinks and replies "Of course I understood that, I was just signaling 'Coming soon'."

[Kalyx]

The was a couple that a had a little boy and one day he walked in on his father in the bathroom, while he was naked.

Boy: Daddy, Daddy...what's that? *points*

Father: Well, son...that's just my snake.

Boy: Oh!

Later on, that same week, he walks in on his mother, as she preparing to take a bath.

Boy: Mommy, Mommy...what are those? *points up*

Mother: Those? They're just my headlights.

Boy: And what about that Mommy? *points down*

Mother: That's just my grass. (unshaven)

Boy: OK.

Several days later the little boy happens to walk by his parents bedroom. The door is ajar and he innocently peers inside. Suddenly, he pushes open the door and yells...

Boy: Mommy! Mommy! Turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is crawling through your grass!

[Renamon_S3]

A guy walks into a bar...
(Lol, sorry, I had to.)

Two guys are in a pub in Dublin, Ireland. The first guy puts down his drink and says to the second:

Guy1: Hello there, I noticed that you were having a drink, and I just wanted to say hello. I'm McDougal.

Guy2: Well God be praised, my last name is McDougal aswell!

Guy1: Well that's interesting. I used to live on the 11th house on bree road.

Guy2: I used to live there!

Guy1: My lord, this is interesting. (takes another drink)

The second guy starts crying into his hands.

Guy1: What's the matter chum?

Guy2: Oie, my poor mother, rest her soul, has passed just two days before!

Guy1: My mother has just passed two days prior! Let us drink to thier memories!

Guy2: Aye.


Across the bar...

Guy3: Oie, boys, look! The McDougal twins are drunk again...