Do all parents have trouble letting go?

[Misty]

Col...please don't tell me they aren't letting you go to the Breaking Benjamin concert...that would suck. And believe me...this is how Collin is...he wants piercings...so do I. It's not that he wants to fit in...he already does fit in...my mom never gave consent to let Collin pierce my cartilage, but look...it's been a little over a couple months...it's fine..no infection...piercings are perfectly fine if you know how to take care of them.

Collin...I can't really imagine your mom not letting you go to the concert and getting piercings...the thing I don't get it that your parents are totally different...your mom is more lenient and your dad....well lets not get into that. And another thing. You're getting older and you should be able to make your own decisions on certain subjects. The piercings: yours...the concert: you and your parents...the friends you hang out with: yours. I know you can't stand your dad. I know talking to him won't work...but to tell you the truth, I think your mom needs to step in more. It seems like your dad is the one that tells you what and what not to do. Your mom needs to get more involved.

[senjuro]

If I'm coming off as being judgemental, I apologize. I'm not meaning to be. My viewpoint is largely due to the fact that it's something I don't really get and isn't part of my lifestyle, or anyone else's that I'm friends with in person. My father got a pair of eagle tattoos before he went to Viet Nam. Now, he always wears longer sleeved shirts to cover up an error he made when he was just a teenager. It's that sort of regret that your parents are trying to steer you away from.

[Wisemon]

Again, Wisemon being the excessively harsh voice of reason. If only politicians were as up-front as you!

Hey, like I said, if you want to stand out, make a statement. That's what I did all through high school and college, and I became a legend among my peers.

[Nate Hunter]

Not true, I have a cartilage piercing at the moment and I am well aware of all the risks involved.

Considerign that caritlage is only prevalent in two portions of the relatively mature body, and that your parents seem opposed to "piercings", I can only assume this means, more plainly, that you have a pierced ear. The risks involved in getting piercings elsewhere on your body are not the same as the risks of an ear piercing. Certain points are far more likely to become infected if not properly treated, not to mention more painful.

. . . as far as being outcasted and ostracized. That is already happened. I am not doing this to fit in or be cool I am doing it to be me and who I am.

Excuse me, but if you ARE unpierced, how will being pierced and having holes make you "MORE" you?

I find piercings to be an ancient traditon and I love the thought of changing my outside appearance.

Get a bottle of hair dye. It's a more cost effective and safer way to change your outside appearance. Or maybe some temporary tattoo.

I am unhappy with my body and I know that piercings and tattoos will help me become more attached to my body.

I realize that some people want to lose limbs for whatever reason, or want piercings or tattoos, but I've never understood why. How exactly will mutilating your perfectly natural body make you "more attached" to it? If anything I see that as saying "I'm not happy, so I'll make myself stand out because of it." If you need modifications to your body to be more attached to it, then you are planning to stand out. Standing out should be a privilege, not a right, which is how most young people today view it...

I am well aware of all the risk factors and I have thought long and hard for about a year. I will be 16 soon , meaning I can get them professionally done. Also, Body Modification is addictive.. trust me on this one!

Ooh, you'll be 16. Six and ten years and you want me to believe you know yourself well enough that you WILL undoubtedly be happier with piercings and a desecrated body than your own? Are you sure you don't on some level want it because your parents don't want you to do it? Are you sure that you will never regret the actions you make on this choice? Are you sure that this is an addiction you WANT to feed?

Wisemon's way is a far smarter, beautiful and practical way to stand out. I don't need to wear a fursuit to be who I am, and I don't need to wear fake ears or a tail or try to get surgery to be who I am. So why do you?

[DragonMasterX]

Maybe because he has his own way of thinking; right or wrong, it's his.

Roran, they aren't trying to change how you feel about this, don't take it as if they consider you dumb kid completely wrong and oblivious about his surroundings and with his own stupid ideas. They are just giving you advice, maybe they are too direct, maybe they are too harsh; but what they say is true, changing your body in the exterior won't make you better person than you already are, you might feel good two or three days, maybe weeks, but you'll eventually become bored of it. You'll eventually want to remove what you will have done to yourself, but then, it will be too late, the changes will be done, and there won't be a turning back then.

As Nate said, mutilating your perfectly natural body won't make you become more attached to it, instead, you are showing amounts of lacks of respect towards it, it's not the body looks what you should change, maybe it's what you have inside what you ought to reconsider how you should take this. If you do this, then you'll feel good... for now, but then, you'll only feel bad, and without suffering a lot, you will never be able to go back to be like before, you'll be missing something, and you'll know it.

Maybe I'm being delirious about my own way of thinking, but if you want to get attached to your body, changing it will separate it from you even more.

I know: parents don't tend to tell you this in this way, they didn't give you any arguments acceptable enough so you changed your mind, right? They just told you ''No'' and ''Its for your own good'' right? Well, maybe you should try to sit with your mother and talk SERIOUSLY about this points, and make sure she DOES listen to you COMPLETELY. Then, maybe then, you'll be able to find out what all of we are saying. It's your choice to manipulate your body as you want, but be careful, sometimes what seems good and easy comes with a big price to pay later.

[Shadowknight]

To make permanent changes like piercings

When are piercings permanent? You can remove them, it's tattoos that are permanent. After reading all this I'm not sure if my mom is cool, or a total loon. She encouraging me to get my ear pierced, I thinks it's so I won't grow my hair, and she took my sister to get a tattoo when she was 19.

[Herr Mullen]

Again, Wisemon being the excessively harsh voice of reason. If only politicians were as up-front as you!

Hey, like I said, if you want to stand out, make a statement. That's what I did all through high school and college, and I became a legend among my peers.

Me, too actually.

Dragon Master is spouting some very good advice.

[rorancrystalwolf]

Piercings are stupid. You pay for them. They're inconvenient. You run the risk of infection. You're less likely to get hired. They make you uglier. Though you think you're standing out, you're actually conforming to everyone else who gets piercings. If you want to make a statement, do it vocally or on paper. Your parents are trying to keep you from being a dumbass.

I am sorry to say this Wisemon but your closed- mindedness towards the subject is unwelcome. Most of these statements are untrue and I would appreciate if you think of someone as different for once not a " dumbass" Anyway, piercings aren't permanent. All ear piercings can close up after a few months and if need be you can place clear retainers in the area so they don't close but are unnoticed. As far a jobs go and such. I am well aware that I will be discriminated against but it is there fault and loss. I will only say this:

"we the modified hold that we are a distinct subcultural group with an established history and way of life. we take part in these activities and perform these body modifications for the betterment of ourselves, of our peers, and of the world in general. Piercing, tattoos, scarification, and other modifications are active political protest and lead to positive cultural reform. we demand the right to treat our bodies as our own, and we strongly urge all to do the same."


As far as things go for the unpierced, I highly recommend it. Now, I think I should say that I am not doing this to be cool, accepted, or different. I am doing this to be me and who I want to be. To hell with a closed minded society and I am doing this because it is me. I never asked to be different I just asked to be me. You may think I am being a whiny teenager but I am not the typical teen in the mental sense... at least I think so. My parents said that they will think about the piercing idea and since I can't get the piercings for another 3 months it will give me more time to reconsider.

[Shadowknight]

Many jobs don't mind them that much. You simply have to remove them depending on what you're doing, and under most of those circumstances you'll want them removed anyway.

[mowgly]

seems fine to me ... just be carefull, if you're ok with the problems it will bring upon you, it's ok then, it's just the same as telling straight people you're gay, it's mostly useless but it makes you feel better showing who you are ( you can discriminate mean people easier this way )


I wouldn't put piercings, because I just don't feel like it.