Passion in sex scenes

[cboy]

Get really drunk, fuck a random chick

You know, Mr. Big T, some of us actually have principles against such things. Please be serious about the topic, and refrain from such suggestions. They disgust me greatly. Thank you.

[Nate Hunter]

What I'm looking for is a way to put the love in "lovemaking". I want the sex scene to look like the characters are truly in love, not having a wild quickie. I want my stories to fall under the romance category, not the hentai category.

P.S. Hey Nate, could you give me the author and title of that book you're talking about. It sounds like something I could really use.

The inclusion of sex, particularly in fan-fiction, will tend to drive it into the hentai category, whether it is s wank fic or simply a good story that has sex in it. However that does not mean they cannot also be a romantic story as well as having hentai content. I assume you mean more that you want stories where the sex is more character drive then sex drive, though, so here is a link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0805069933/103-0881045-0073425?v=glance&n=283155

"The Joy of Writing Sex: A Guide for Fiction Writers" by Elizabeth Benedict. I felt embarassed about wanting to add this book to my collection at first, and ended up perusing it in a private area of my local Barnes & Noble before settling on indeed buying it. I was afraid it was going to emphasize ways to write the mechanics of sex to be more appealing at first, but it really emphasizes that sex is part of a story, and the emotional involvement with the story should determine how you write a sex scene. My advice above is not explicitly in the book in that particular fashion, but most of it is derived from what I learned in the book.

Characters drive a story but it doesn't revolve around them, and sex, whether integral or gratuitous, is simply one event that is simply another stop along the highway of your story. How they associate with that event is how you should write it.

[cboy]

For me, a love story isn't a true love story without the two characters making love. It's one thing to have a boy and a girl hold hands and kiss and give each other special gifts. To have them show it in the ultimate way shows just how much they truly care about each other.

Sex carries with it a lot of risks and dangers. The fact that two people are willing to face those dangers proves that they truly love each other. Also, the way they treat each other during the sex also shows their love. If a guy and a girl are just doing a quickie, the sex is generally rushed and neither one goes out of his/her way to make the other feel good. However, if the sex is truly out of love, then each person will do everything they can to make their partner feel loved.

P.S. Hey Nate, I'll be going to Barnes and Noble this Monday. In what category can I find this book?

[Nate Hunter]

. . . Sorry it's late... I found it in the Writing section, but that was a few years ago. I didn't spy a copy when I visited on Saturday, but I also wasn't exactly looking for that book, since I already have a copy.

But why exactly, if you don't mind my asking, is "making love" the ultimate way of showing their love? There are many examples where doing this would not be the ultimate way, but I won't cite those here. In general, doing this can even do harm to an otherwise perfectly stable relationship. There are even many places where a healthy relationship, not just stable but healthy and thriving, could be ruined by sex. Look at the characters, because sex is not always the ultimate way to show love. If anything, in a love-driven sex scene, the love needs to be firmly established BEFORE the sex ever enters the picture. Trust is part of love, but trust against the dangers of sex isn't loving, but reckless.

Some examples of other ways -- some I've written, some I haven't.

(1) Daisuke shows his love for Hikari by refusing to sleep with her again after one time. (Hikari's Future Life)
(2) Hikari shows her love for Takeru by not marrying Daisuke (as previous)
(3) V-mon shows his love for Floramon by not destroying Dryadmon (Daisuke's Future Life)
(4) Daisuke shows his love for Catherine by WAITING to have sex with her. (as previous)

(5) A man shows how much he loves his wife by jumping in front of a bullet meant for her.
(6) A wife shows her love for her husband by never complaining about him missing dinner.
(7) A couple observes their anniversary every year by each reciting a new poem that expresses their feelings for the other.

Those can all be ultimate ways of expressing or showing love, and they do not revolve around sex.

To cite an example of mine, showing how the feelings reflect in sex, you may want to look at Takeru's Future Life, where I show how he not only does it years after the fact, but how he did it before he ruined his first relationship with Hikari. What you need to remember is that sex in such a context is an expression of love, but not a measure or definer of love.

. . . That sex is a measure or requirement of love is a myth young men use to get young women out of their skirts.

Reply

[MISTER BIG T]

Get really drunk, fuck a random chick

You know, Mr. Big T, some of us actually have principles against such things. Please be serious about the topic, and refrain from such suggestions. They disgust me greatly. Thank you.

Actually I was being serious but I'll try and give another tip instead then if you've got principal problem.


Roleplay/cyber the scenery with a person.


Since the other person isn't you, they'll most likely react to the scene in different manner than you. That way, you'll be able to get some genuine seeming mood and atmosphere. (Because most likely, you'll both be in the mood too and it'll be even more realistic) Plus it can be really fun, especially if you can get hold on a girl who's into anal, rape, facials, gets turned on by carnival music, and likes to call you "daddy" when you do it. (Read; my scary ex)

[Master Grim]

What I'm looking for is a way to put the love in "lovemaking". I want the sex scene to look like the characters are truly in love, not having a wild quickie. I want my stories to fall under the romance category, not the hentai category.

You know... I have the same problem... I tried with 'Mistakes and Forgiveness' but I think it went wrong...

<_<
>_>

I'm not really supposed to be here, am I?

[Nate Hunter]

You know, Mr. Big T, some of us actually have principles against such things. Please be serious about the topic, and refrain from such suggestions. They disgust me greatly. Thank you.

Actually I was being serious but I'll try and give another tip instead then if you've got principal problem.

He meant serious about the emotional connection. A one night stand or quickie does not have an emotional connection like two people who are in love. He's trying to write love, not just a fuck.

Roleplay/cyber the scenery with a person.


Since the other person isn't you, they'll most likely react to the scene in different manner than you. That way, you'll be able to get some genuine seeming mood and atmosphere (Because most likely, you'll both be in the mood too and it'll be even more realistic). Plus it can be really fun, especially if you can get hold on a girl who's into {the same things as you are}.

For those with a policy against doing it in person, but who do not feel uncomfortable in such a situation, I would definitely recommend this as a way of pursuing knowledge about how to improve the quality of your sex scenes, whether they are going to be independent scenes or emotionally charged. Just make sure you know the person you're doing it with first, and hopefully one of you has a good way of handling roleplaying.

[MISTER BIG T]

Actually, it's better if you don't know the person too well. It'll add certain charm and mysteria to the mix, which is always awesome.


Genuine emotion towards other people is quite a mixed bag, because everyone feels said emotions in different way. To someone, love is a fist, to another it's a kiss.

[Nate Hunter]

Passion is passion. Passionate and romantic love (there are many types, the term I would use here from Adin would be haukton, the passionate love of two people, as opposed to the six other types of love they quantify as unique words) cannot exist unless the two people know each other.

Love is patient, love is kind.... Do I need to quote scripture? Love is never a fist, that form of love is idolatry, possessiveness, and violence -- not true love.

The seven types of love in the Adin culture and language are as follows:

The first and greatest love is "godly love," a universal compassion and love for all things in the natural world, living or nonliving, and for all things good.

The six others are three pairs of positive and negative loves. Constructive and destructive forms of love.

The second love is positive, and is the desire to protect and defend, to sacrifice yourself and support the growth of others, most particularly those who are close to you, as with family and friends. You love them and would sooner die than see harm come to them.

The third is the negative, the desire to stifle those who threaten the ones you care for, or to protect those you care for in a manner which limits their freedoms. You love them and would sooner kill than see them harmed.

The fourth is positive, the emotional connection and passion of two people to support and cherish each other, even if can only be expressed by allowing the other to be apart from you with the one for whom they most cherish in this way. This love is one of passion and connection, the ideal love of a man for religion and a man for his lover or lovers, one which allows the others to go their way if that is what will best serve their needs.

The fifth is negative, the emotional conviction that another cannot be right unless they are with you in beliefs or in life. The belief that anothe rperson is naught without you is this love, or the conviction that one's own beliefs are true to the point that you will kill or die simply to prove to others how true they are. The extremist Islam terrorrists are one example of people with such a love for their religion, or for their leaders' ideals at least, but so were the Christian crusaders of the middle ages. The man who would harm or force another to be with him simply because he feels a connection is no different, simply more limited in his scope.

The sixth is the love of a thing: a desire, a taste, an interest or a fascination with something. This allows the person to enjoy something of life without being overwhelmed with the enjoyment of it, and yet to still be able to exist apart from it. This is a love of moderation and not of overindulgence, and it is simply something enjoyed, but not an addiction. One may love pizza or curry, but not feel it necessary to eat those every day.

The seventh is the negative, an overwhelming passion and lust for a thing, tangible or otherwise, which draws away from all enjoyment in life without that thing. One who can enjoy life only while he is eating demonstrates this sort of love, an addiction within the mind or body to doing or having something to the point it may provide detriment to their health or wellness.

This is how the Adin view love, as positives which enhance life and negatives which detract from it. The negative aspects are often associated with the seven deadly sins, while the psitive are often associated witht he seven virtues... which are said to counter each other, though their particular expressoin is not common to the Adin:

humility against pride
kindness against envy
abstinence against gluttony
chastity against lust
patience against anger
liberality against greed
and diligence against sloth

Those who claim that their fist shows love are deluded by the evil in their hearts. A fist only shows love in protection, never in aggression. We all have evil in our hearts, and though we can struggle against it, nothing in our power will ever drive it away.

[Anonmon]

Who are these Adin people, again?