Are my morals making me miss out?

[MISTER BIG T]

the only thing with me is, im gay. so thanks to some un named son of a bitch *cough*BUSH*cough* if id save myself for marrige it will never happen. so for me i think if youve been going out so long that you know or think you know that the person is 'the one' then its ok. thats my view

Come to the UK, get a nice lad with a nice accent and then get a Civil Partnership. After all, there's a bigger world out there, right?

Either that or get a groove on with a tranny chick and marry her. :D

[Zephyr of Darkness]

If you wait till marriage to have sex, not only will you likely be disappointed with the experience (because the first time is VERY awkward),

Care to explain why something that comes in your instinct should be awkward? This reminds me of when my future colleagues frightened us telling "when you get out there and face the patients, it's a whole new world. Nothing of what you've studied can prepare you for that". I remember my first patient crystal clear. I was in 3rd year in a hospital tour (you're not supposed to touch a patient until you're in 4th) and this really nice professor told me "You feel confident enough to make a masotherapy?" I answered "Yes!!!" So he gave me the directions and I entered the box where she was. It was a 36 yo fat woman with lumbago. When I entered, I was the image of confidence. I gave her the directions instructed (tell me if it hurts, etc.) and performed a brilliant 25 minutes masotherapy (it is my specialty, after all ;)) When I left I asked her how did she feel and she told me "I was sore but now I'm not". Good, I told myself and faced my professor again with a bright smile. He thanked me.

Now after the story, if sth that needs learning and training like fine masotherapy (not like any fakes' that go and perform out there) can be a success in a first time, how can be always awkward something you carry on your own instinct? I really can't tell, but it's hard to imagine.

[Wisemon]

Care to explain why something that comes in your instinct should be awkward? This reminds me of when my future colleagues frightened us telling "when you get out there and face the patients, it's a whole new world. Nothing of what you've studied can prepare you for that". I remember my first patient crystal clear. I was in 3rd year in a hospital tour (you're not supposed to touch a patient until you're in 4th) and this really nice professor told me "You feel confident enough to make a masotherapy?" I answered "Yes!!!" So he gave me the directions and I entered the box where she was. It was a 36 yo fat woman with lumbago. When I entered, I was the image of confidence. I gave her the directions instructed (tell me if it hurts, etc.) and performed a brilliant 25 minutes masotherapy (it is my specialty, after all ) When I left I asked her how did she feel and she told me "I was sore but now I'm not". Good, I told myself and faced my professor again with a bright smile. He thanked me.

Now there's a nice metaphor/innuendo. I would say that the whole "sexual chemistry" is an invention of our culture. If it's not working, but the personalities click, I believe the partners could probably make the sex work, though they might have to resort to the aid of medications. Chances are, it would be one partner's fault, and that partner wouldn't be able to find "chemistry" with anyone else anyway.

[Nate Hunter]

. . .

Are morals a good thing or a bad thing? Well, this discussion is one I have often had with myself. What am I missing out on by saving myself until I find someone who I will feel RIGHT dating and bedding? Well, I can tell you what I'm missing for certain:

(1) Sexually transmitted disease. By not having sex, I am FAR less likely to get one of these diseases which could impair the future of my sex life in some way or another.

(2) . . . Being confronted with a responsibility I am not yet ready to handle -- be it emotionally, psychologically, or financially. Some of my worries about what could happen if I hurried with a girl were part of my driving force behind Takeru and Hikari's chapters of "Future Lives". FL Takeru is who I fear I might become, because I'm not entirely sure if I'm FL Daisuke yet.

(3) Regretting that there was nothing important involved in my firxst time. Be I married or not, I want there to be a special connection when I have my first time. This is why I'm holding out for the right person and the right time, whether that means marrieage or not.

The only thing I might gain from it is sexual prowess, and if there is already a true spark of love that's been fanned to a flame, sexual prowess should be something both partners are willing to develop with each other, over time. I may not be good when I have my first time, but if she or I isn't satisfied, I will improve for us.

. . .

These are my two dollars on this issue. I won't sell my standards short as cents, and I won't sell them short by compromising just because it takes me time to find someone who I feel is suitable to me. And I'm not just talking about looks, because I ain't that dumb.